I am in the finishing stages with my co-author on our book The Ride To Redemption: A Journey To Faith so I don't have much time to blog right now, but I am still an avid reader of books and blogs and ran across this one from Michaela Chung. She is a very gifted writer, blogger, world traveler and, of course, introvert. How do I know she is an introvert? SHE BRAGS ABOUT IT! She was born and raised in Canada, but has lived in Australia, Mexico and Colombia.
This is her blog site: http://introvertspring.com/introvert-vs-hermit-how-much-alone-time-is-too-much/#comments
She is dedicated to helping introverts revolutionize the way they see themselves. Her Myers-Briggs personality type is INFP.
My Myers-Briggs personality type is NOT INFP! Mine is: ENFJ
Strength of individual traits: Extraverted: 19%, Intuitive: 21%, Feeling: 31%, Judging: 11%, Assertive: 2%
Her words: Alone time is essential to the well-being of introverts. We need solitude to reflect and recharge. If we don’t have enough time to ourselves, we can quickly become harried, growling bundles of discontentment, waiting to implode.
Michaela, I have spent more alone time in the last 10 months than I care to talk about...but I'm gonna talk about it. I can recite the Gettysburg address, the preamble to the Constitution of the United States, heck I'm thinking about memorizing every Shakespearean play ever written! I can keep writing in my books all day but then I start trying to act like every character in the book. Some times I forget who I am...
Her words: But how much alone time is too much? As I’ve said before, introverts are not immune to the torment of loneliness. Too little social interaction and we risk crossing over into the darker realms of depression and hermitdom (not a real word, but you get the idea).
I am pleased to learn that even those who self-impose "aloneness" on themselves can get lonely. I GET LONELY A LOT FASTER than you all do. I am an extrovert for Pete's sake! I actually try find people to be with but they are usually too busy for me. Talk about a society on the move. America takes the cake on that one!
Her words: Some of you may have heard of the phenomenon in Japan known as “Hikikomori”. Hikikomori is defined as a state of self-imposed social isolation lasting six months or longer. Hundreds of thousands of Japanese youth have chosen to withdraw to their bedrooms for months or even years. These modern-day hermits shun all forms of social interaction in favor of unhappy seclusion.
While we’re on the topic of extreme hermit cases, I read an article a few months ago about the Maine ‘North Pond Hermit’. This man had spent nearly three decades in complete isolation in the Maine woods. His arrest for burglarizing a nearby youth camp for disabled children was believed to be his first contact with other people in 27 years.
Most introverts are a far cry from the Hikikomori youths and deranged hermits of this world. We know the importance of human connections. We value our close friends and family; however, we are susceptible to unwanted feelings of isolation. At times, our aloneness seeps into areas it doesn’t belong. Peaceful silence becomes a messenger of sadness; contented solitude transforms into loneliness.
See what isolation can do to even an extreme Introvert Michaela? This dude was arrested and convicted of theft and they also found he was a Peeping-Tom. I don't choose to be who I am, I am who I am and I am a social type. I need intimate contact and social contact in order to resume some semblance of normal. Granted, I only like being around only a few social types at one time. I will never be labeled a party-dude! I don't even like huge family "get-togethers" that often-hey, come to think of it, I've never been to one! Michaela, you have a good point though, aloneness seeps into areas that it doesn't belong. I know about that. It is a sad thing. Too much solitude becomes loneliness. Did you know that there are certain people you just long to be with those who are too busy with their personal lives for you? Do you know that you can be with people, but because you long to be with that special person so badly that you are alone in a crowd? A word of warning to those who are not privy to personality tests, if you are not a "touchy-feely type person" never, no never try to partner with an ENFJ!
Her words: Sure, there are some hermits that are pretty cool. I would love to be the wise sage living in an enchanted forest for a day or two. I also have great respect for the spiritual leaders who withdrew from the world so that they could be enlightened. For the rest of us, the hermit life is unappealing and unnecessary.
When I go more than two days in a row without human interaction, I become restless. I begin to obsess over things that aren’t worth obsessing over. I start to feel agitated and morose. Soon, the dreaded “L” word begins to taunt me wherever I go. In my bedroom, in the kitchen, outside – even while watching a beautiful sunset – loneliness is there.
Loneliness can be especially tormenting for introverts who don’t have close friends or family nearby. Acquaintances just don’t do it for us. We need our trusted loved ones by our sides or we can feel lonely even when surrounded by people.
I have struggled with this during my travels. Because I usually couch surf, I am rarely completely by myself. But when you’re in a new country, surrounded by ‘friends’ who were strangers a day earlier, you can feel more alone than ever.
Perhaps you can spend five days in blissful isolation without feeling sad or lonely. Or maybe you can only handle one day of seclusion before you start itching for social interaction. The important thing is to know when it is time to reach out to those you care about and welcome them back into your world.
I don’t recommend the hermit life for most people, but If you really want to give it a try then go for it. But please, don’t ever steal from disabled children. Even by hermit standards, that’s just plain mean.
I agree that loneliness can be tormenting, especially if you don't have close friends that you really enjoy being around. I confess I am more introvert than I care to admit just because I am so selective about my friends, however that does not mean I do not want a family life and friends. I DO. I like people most of the time! Because I am a "touchy-feely" type person I also long to be with someone who is "touchy-feely." But I am even very selective about that too! I wonder if I can find some camp to raid that has touchy-feely people in it?
There is someone else I like being alone with though, because I am not lonely around Him. Our Lord Jesus was "touchy-feeling." How do I know that? He never took a Meyers-Briggs personality test. No, but He was always about His Heavenly Father's business touching the infirm of mind or body, healing broken-hearts, bringing the lost sheep of His father's house back home. We are all God's creation but we are not all God's kids. He longs for us to be His child-yes that means we adults are children to almighty God. But ya know, He's the kind of DAD that I longed for, I just didn't always know that. He understands me, created me, knew me before one of my days was even here...Psalm 139 says so. If you don't know Him, He is just a prayer away for those who really mean it. I recommend the manual he gave us to introduce Himself to His creation-it's called a Bible and start with John 3 verse 16-17. He touches our loneliness in a world too busy for us.
