Heart Disease in the Body of Christ

Well I have to post this one by Pastor Ray. I'm guilty of this myself and wish I had thought more about the consequences. I was a pastor once and had no excuse for doing this in a church I was a vital part of. I'm so glad God sees our stupidities and forgives us anyway.  The good news is that it hurt me a lot more than the pastor, but in a way we are all a little less because it is a break in the harmony that should be among brothers and sisters in Christ.


Ray Pritchard
Keep Believing Ministries
Dallas, Texas
 

Heart Disease in the Body of Christ
James 3:14-16

 
Every church has trouble sooner or later.
 
Churches sometimes have difficulty getting enough members together to make up a quorum for a business meeting. But there’s one easy way to get far more than a quorum: Announce a moral scandal, a doctrinal controversy, or an impending church split. The sanctuary will be jammed with people.
 
Conflict always draws a crowd.

Every church has problems, some large, some small, and every church faces a time of crisis sooner or later. You can’t avoid it completely, and you can’t always head it off at the pass. It doesn’t matter whether your church is young or old or what denomination it is or who the pastor is or what sort of church government you have. None of that cancels the reality that Christian people can sometimes act in very unchristian ways.  

Your church may have no serious problems at the moment. You may attend a congregation of Spirit-filled believers who love the Lord, love his Word, love each other, and love those outside the church. If that is true of your church, get on your knees and give thanks to God because it is all too rare.

Increasingly one hears stories of churches torn apart because of controversy.News of trouble in a congregation quickly spreads through social media, blogs and anonymous emails. While the technology may be new, church conflict is as old as the New Testament. The early Christians often had a hard time getting along. If the book of James is (as I believe) the earliest New Testament book, it means Christians were having trouble in their local churches from the very beginning.

James 3:14-16 helps us understand how great churches go bad. By “great” I do not mean famous or large or rich or popular. Any church is “great” when the members love each other, love the Lord, love to worship, love the Word of God, love to serve, and love to share the Good News of Jesus with those who don’t know him. And even a happy, Spirit-filled, Christ-honoring congregation can end up in a bad place. It doesn’t happen overnight, but it does happen.

Yielding to worldly wisdom produces a kind of spiritual heart disease that destroys unity, kills joy, evaporates prayer, dulls the appetite for God’s Word, deadens worship, and turns the focus from winning the lost to winning the argument. With that in mind, let’s carefully consider this passage because we’re all in danger of harboring wrong attitudes. These three verses reveal the operation, the origin, and the outcome of heart disease in the body of Christ. 
 

Its Operation

“But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth” (v. 14).
 
James begins by warning us against two specific sins: bitter envy and selfish ambition. The first refers to resentful because others have something you don’t. It might be money or a title or popularity or a better job or a happier family. We suffer from envy when . . .

1) We secretly regret that our friends have succeeded where we have not.
2) We believe we would have done better if we had gotten the right breaks.
3) We have a hard time believing others have more talent than we do.
4) We temper our compliments with the word "but."
5) We complain that others do not appreciate us as they should.
6) We walk the other way rather than congratulate a friend on her good fortune.
7) We question the motives of those who show kindness to us.
8) We can't rejoice with others when they are promoted.
9) We secretly gloat when someone else gets caught because "they had it coming to them."
10) We are quicker to criticize than to compliment.
 
But that’s not the end of it. Bitter envy leads on to selfish ambition. The word originally referred to gaining office by dishonest means. It describes someone whose desire to get ahead leads them to abandon all morality, break all the rules, and do whatever it takes to get ahead.
 
Now comes the tricky part.
 
James says the problem starts on the inside. We harbor bitter envy while we sing on the worship team, lead a small group, serve on a task force, and perhaps even when we stand and preach. To “harbor” something means to give it a safe place to stay. Because this is a problem of the heart, it’s hard to spot. Proverbs 4:23 offers a command we need to take seriously:
 

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

 
Jesus probably had this verse in mind when he said, “Out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks” (Matthew 12:34). This verse cuts both ways. Whatever is on the inside will eventually come out—whether good or bad.
 
If you think angry thoughts, angry words are sure to follow.
If you fill your mind with sexual fantasies, you will find a way to fulfill those desires.
If you dwell on your problems, they will soon overwhelm you.
If you feel like a victim, soon you will become one.
If you give way to worry, don’t be surprised when you can’t sleep at night.
If you focus on how others misunderstand you, you will soon become angry and bitter.
 
What goes in must come out. Sooner or later your thoughts translate into reality. You’re not what you think you are, but what you think, you are.
 

Its Origin 

 
“Such ‘wisdom’ does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, of the devil” (v. 15). 
 
This is a scary verse.
 
When you’re in the midst of a battle over a staff hire or a new program or a financial deficit or something the pastor said or music you don’t like, when people are unhappy, voices are being raised, and people are posting things on Facebook and Twitter, when church members are shooting at you, you don’t have time to worry about being nice. You just start firing back.
 
That’s natural. It’s the way of the world. If you attack me, I attack back. There’s no fight like a church fight. In the house of the Lord, we know how to pray and sing and worship, but we also know how to attack each other.
 
Church fights turn ugly because so much is at stake. This is God’s work! That’s what we tell ourselves. So we’re ready to fight and die, not just for the Bible or the testimony of Jesus, but in order to keep the “bad guys” from singing some new chorus that doesn’t measure up to “A Mighty Fortress.”

Dietrich Bonhoeffer said the church is the place where our dreams are shattered—and that is a good thing. Everyone comes to church with a certain set of expectations. New believers often enter the church hoping to find a little bit of heaven on earth. We expect our brothers and sisters in Christ to treat us better than the people of the world. Sooner or later we discover the saints are not always saintly, and the people of God are not always godly. They can be cantankerous, mean-spirited, unkind, and sometimes downright cruel.
 
So what’s the scary part of this verse?
 
James reminds us that if we aren’t careful, in our determination to win the argument, we will end up doing the devil’s work. Note that the translation puts “wisdom” in quotes. When we are angry and in a fighting mood, we’ll say things and do things that seem wise to us because we’re doing God’s work, or so we think. We gossip and criticize and impute bad motives and threaten to leave if we don’t get our way.
 
There is a “wisdom” that is earthly, meaning it comes from human reason, not from God. It’s the “my way or the highway” approach that takes no prisoners, crushes the opposition, and then brushes it off by saying, “You can’t make an omelet without breaking a few eggs.” That wisdom is also unspiritual, which means it appeals to human reason and human emotions. When you are upset, you say things you would never say otherwise. You justify unkindness by saying, “They made me do it.” No, they didn’t. You did that on your own.
 
But that’s not the worst of it. James says this so-called “wisdom” comes from hell. It is demonic because it comes hissing from the pit. Satan loves a good fight because he can get normally polite people to forget their Christianity and treat others like dirt. As the accuser of the brethren, Satan loves to get the sheep throwing manure at each other. Unfortunately, he often doesn’t have to work very hard at it. William Barclay offers this warning:

 
"There is a kind of person who is undoubtedly clever; he has an acute brain and a skillful tongue; but his effect in any committee, in any church, in any group, is to cause trouble, to drive people apart, to foment strife, to make trouble, to disturb personal relationships. It is a sobering thing to remember that the wisdom that that man possesses is devilish rather than divine, and that such a man is engaged on Satan's work and not on God's work."

 
James adds a sobering note when he warns against boasting and being “false to the truth.” The worst lies are the lies you tell yourself. Here is the ultimate narcissist. He cannot be corrected because he will not listen. His arrogance blinds him to his own sin. For such a person there is no solution except to put him out of the church so God can speak to him in his spiritual desolation.
 

Its Outcome

 
“For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice” (v. 16).
 
Christians have never been very good at fighting fair. We let small disagreements become major issues, and we elevate secondary matters to the level of the deity of Christ. Our bitter arguments eventually become more important than Jesus.
 
They put an end to Christian peace.
They cause the church to turn inward.
They destroy the work of God.
They turn new believers away from the church.
They dishonor the Lord.
They grieve the Holy Spirit.
They stir up sinful tendencies on all sides.
They cause weak Christians to give up the faith in despair.
They force people to take sides on things that are not commanded.
They injure the testimony of the church.
They confirm the criticism of skeptics that the church is full of hypocrites.
They cause the enemies of the gospel to rejoice.
They send the message to the world, “God loves you, but we hate each other.”
 
In the end, these things destroy the church. Bitter envy and selfish ambition are a kind of “heart disease” that destroys the body of Christ from the inside out. I ran across an article by Douglas Wilson called The Genesis of Church Splits. He points out the basic problem is envy—misdirected desire. We want something we don’t have—power, influence, authority, position, recognition. Unhappy church members want what they don’t have and so they gossip, spread rumors and pick fights, like crazed rats trapped in a maze. Envy, he says, is particularly potent in the realm of religious politic because envy knows how to disguise itself in a cloak of religious piety.

“Envy can readily appear as a zeal for orthodoxy, or righteous indignation, or a concern for the poor, or high musical standards for the choir, or as missional concern. But however it appears, it is quickly and necessarily the source of conflict.”

What happens when envy combines with selfish ambition in the local church? First, you have disorder. Other translations use words like “confusion,” “chaos,” “disharmony” and “insurrection.” We know Satan loves to stir up trouble. So it is no surprise that when these devilish sins are present, the church is in a state of constant turmoil. People fight, they fuss, they fume, they gossip, they disagree disagreeably, they are ready to believe the worst, and the work of God grinds to a halt.
 
Second, you have every evil practice. Because the church is a body, when any part gets sick, the whole body suffers. Trouble in the choir leads to trouble in the women’s ministry leads to trouble in the Awana program leads to trouble on the elder board. Just as disease makes the whole person sick, very soon the whole church body is ill.
 
If we stand back and look at these three verses, we can see a clear progression:
 
What starts with wrong heart attitudes (verse 14),
Leads to actions that are earthly, unspiritual and devilish (verse 15),
Which plunges the church into disorder and widespread spiritual sickness (verse 16).
 
These things happen because our hearts are not filled with Christ but with our own sinful desires. That much is obviously true. But we can go further than that. These things must happen in order to purge the church. Sometimes we have to get sick in order to get better. 1 Corinthians 11:19 informs us church strife happens so God can show which side he is on. Even though God loves all his children, he does not bless everything they do. Church conflict exposes evil attitudes that must be confronted and dealt with through confession and repentance.
 
When the conflict rages inside any church, it can be hard to remember Jesus is still the Lord of this fractious, fractured, unhappy body of believers. But it is precisely at that moment – when tempers flare and foolish things are said – that we must reaffirm our faith that Jesus is still leading us.

Good theology can save your life.
It can also save your church.
 
In those moments of conflict, we must do the right thing in the right spirit. We must not fear what others say or do. If we care about the church, we will “teach, rebuke and correct” (2 Timothy 3:16), always remembering that “a gentle answer turns away wrath” (Proverbs 15:1). We must at the same time fall on our faces before the Lord and confess our own sin.
 
We are not guiltless.
We are not free from envy.
We have our secret ambitions.
We harbor resentment.
 
If we are honest, we must admit we are all messed up to one degree or another. In our best moments, we are still sheep who love to go our own way. That’s why I come back again and again to Luther’s 95 Theses, nailed on the wall of the Castle Church in Wittenberg 500 years ago. Thesis # 1 speaks with clarity across the centuries:
 

“When our Lord and Master Jesus Christ said ‘Repent,’ he intended that the entire life of believers should be repentance.”

 
We make a huge mistake if we assume repentance is a one-time thing we do when we first trust Christ. Every believer needs daily repentance because we sin every day. We go back to the blood of Christ again and again, claiming the merit of our crucified Savior as the ground of our forgiveness and our only hope of heaven.
 
When the big guns blaze, we must repent even more.
When passions rise, repentance must rise higher.
When disorder abounds, God’s people must go to their knees.
 

Calling All Beggars!

 
When James warns us about worldly wisdom that destroys Christian unity, he’s not asking us to point the finger at someone else.
 
First, look in the mirror.
First, consider your own heart.
First, take the log out of your own eye.
 
Thirty years after Luther posted his 95 Theses, he scribbled his final words on a scrap of paper:
 

“We are beggars. It is true.”
 

This is bad news for the proud but good news for the humble. We could heal almost any church split if the beggars would meet at the foot of the cross. The call is always individual and personal. When beggars come in repentance, they are healed by the blood of Jesus.
 
Great churches lose their way when Christians lose sight of the Head of the Church. Disconnected from our Lord, we are capable of all sorts of evil. Without the wisdom of Christ, envy and selfish ambition quickly take over.
 
Jesus revealed the problem and the solution when he said, “Without me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). We will never be the right kind of men and women without his help. It is more than just following his example. We must come to him, bow before him, and cry out to him for mercy and forgiveness and the strength we need.
 
Without Jesus, we will fight and bite and destroy each other. That’s what James is telling us. I invite you to join me in praying this prayer as a response:
 
O God,

Baptize my lips.
Cleanse my heart.
 
Deliver me from envy and selfish ambition.
Make me like Jesus, whatever it costs, whatever it takes.

Do it, Lord. Begin right here, right now, in my heart. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Her Abusive "Christian" Marriage She couldn't believe this was her reality.

The numbers are staggering. Narcissism is on the increase and most of it has to do with mental illness and a sense of entitlement. However it is really difficult to discern if you are dating a Malignant Narcissist. What may look like just over the top confidence or masked odd behavior is often a pitfall for the intended wife/husband. The intended may start out with buying you gifts or taking care of bills even offering to move in or marry you and take care of you. The woman/man is flattered by all the attention and agrees to open up her/his life to this "loving individual." However even before the marriage gets started there are signs that need to be looked for that tell you danger is in the making...

Signs to look for when dating that tell you that you're in a relationship with a sick, Malignant Narcissist!

1. They seem likable — at least, at first glance.

2. Not all narcissists are loud and proud. In fact, some are quiet and shy at first.

3. They crave to be noticed and aspire to leadership roles.

4. They always manage to make the conversation about themselves.

5. Many are guilty of name-dropping to give themselves credibility.

6. Not every story a narcissist tells is one of victory. But even in the stories of tragedy or failure, there’s an air of entitlement and victimization.

7. They like nice things and will often take care of their desire them above your needs.

8. Appearance is everything to them. They crave attention and like to be seen as popular even though they may actually be offensive. They find it hard to compliment you when you need it or ask for it.

9. They are strongly averse to criticism. They will go out of their way to put criticism back on the shoulders of anyone who criticizes them. They rarely take responsibility for their failures or flawed behavior. 

10. Excuses are a narcissist’s best friend.

11. They leave a trail of wreckage behind them.

12. Sexual conquest are their main desire, if they can't get what they want they become abusive(critical) They want it often and are obsessive about it.

13. Everything is personal.

14. A narcissistic person probably has no idea he or she is a narcissist.

15. You find yourself resorting to flattery just to maintain the peace with a narcissist. They love to brag about themselves...

16. You begin to lose your own personal identity when you marry them and often feel depressed. It is not unusual to suffer panic attacks, feelings of rage at yourself, withdrawn and unable to tell others how bad things really are, and become very protective of your children.

17. Narcissists are not low in self-esteem. Though most actually hate themselves especially when things go wrong, they have an over blown self-esteem.

18. No one can measure up to them. If they see anyone on the horizon of their life that can offer a credible challenge they do all within their power to make the person feel insecure. (you and your children are not exempt from this behavior)

PLEASE READ THIS STORY

My Abusive "Christian" Marriage

I couldn't believe this was my reality. And I couldn't see a way out.

Gwyneth Nelson

"Did Daddy do that?" my daughter asked. Lying on the floor in the doorway of her room, I was stunned as I realized my daughter had just witnessed undeniable physical abuse. Tom's* anger had escalated into unrestrained rage, and he'd thrown me into our daughter's bedroom. Confused, I began to question my situation: Was I really experiencing domestic violence in my Christian home?

I'd denied the truth so long I was unable to recognize what was really happening. The abuse had started subtly and grown insidiously. My husband and I claimed to be Christians, so how could our marriage be abusive? Unable to give my four-year-old daughter any more excuses, I said, "Yes, Daddy did that." Then I locked us in her room and crawled in bed with her until she fell asleep. That night I resolved to stop the impact of domestic abuse in my daughter's life—a difficult decision that finally pointed me in the direction of healing.

Control Issues

It was inconceivable to me that I'd ever be in such circumstances. Born and raised in a loving pastor's family, I was steeped in conservative evangelical culture. As a "good girl," I got good grades, participated in extra-curricular school activities, and was a leader in the church youth group. I lived to please others, worked hard to offend no one, and had an internal drive to create a wonderful life. Though I had a relationship with Christ, I lived as if the good life depended on my good performance.

I met Tom at the Christian liberal arts college we both attended. He was handsome, intelligent, and interesting—always looking for adventure and fun. His father was a pastor, so we'd been raised in similar Christian cultures. Tom often discussed theology and doctrine, and he cared genuinely about people's salvation. Our wedding was a large, elaborate, God-centered event. I envisioned our marriage to be a shared life of service and impact for God's kingdom. I also believed that if I performed well, my marriage would go well and we'd have a good life together.

Though, looking back, I realized Tom was very self-centered while we were dating, I hadn't seen any red flags about the abuse that was to come. But early on I saw signs that life was going to be very different from what I'd envisioned. After returning from our honeymoon, Tom expected to use the entire closet in our bedroom while I used a closet in another room. He said this was because he'd moved into the apartment first. We went to the bank to put his name on my checks, but he didn't want my name on his. He monitored my purchases, even though I was working full-time and we weren't struggling financially. He was more concerned about controlling what I bought than how much money I spent. If I didn't comply with Tom's expectations or get his permission, he'd become angry and yell. For example, when I purchased drinking glasses and a shower curtain, he raged at me because he'd expected to choose those items himself. I'd eagerly anticipated freely organizing and decorating our home. Instead, I began to adjust to the practice of gaining approval for things such as hanging a picture on the wall.

ix months into our marriage, Tom began to come home from work late—often into the next morning—without telling me his plans. More than once I called the police and hospitals, concerned he was hurt or in trouble. Upon returning home, he'd ridicule me for worrying. He insisted that if I inquired about where he was or when he'd return, I was controlling him. He chided me for what he called my lack of trust in him. More than once, he yelled so loudly at me that the neighbors knocked at the door and asked if everything was all right. Embarrassed and ashamed, I said everything was fine. But as I began to internalize Tom's accusations and criticisms, both my confidence and my self-worth began to crumble. I couldn't confidently discard old food from our refrigerator without fearing a blow up because I'd mistakenly tossed something Tom wanted to eat. When he said I was addicted to worship music, I spent less time listening to praise songs. As my self-worth eroded, I questioned my ability to be a loving wife and mother, and whether I was truly a woman of faith.

Keeping Up Appearances

On the outside we looked put-together, especially in our Christian circles. Tom appeared spiritually mature. He prayed eloquent prayers, participated in deep theological discussions, and often referenced Scripture to support his insights. We hosted small group meetings, led Sunday school classes, and hosted fun parties for our Christian friends. I did everything I could to establish the appearance of the godly partnership I desired.

But behind closed doors, things weren't fine. Unable to predict when the switch would flip on Tom's anger, I walked on eggshells. Without warning, I'd suddenly become the object of Tom's uncontrolled, frightening rage. Sometimes as I tried to back away, he'd corner me. He'd grab me by the shoulders and yell in my face. Sometimes he'd shake me and drop me to the floor. Before leaving for work one day, he screamed, "You're insolent, impudent, and intransigent!" He punctuated this rant by punching and cracking the closet door as he stormed out of the house. Episodes like this were common.

Because our situation was so intense, I was in constant conversation with God. I pored through Scripture to find direction and connection to my Savior. I took to heart Tom's accusations that I was ungodly, unsubmissive, and prideful, and constantly confessed my sin. I also took seriously the scriptural reference to forgive 70 times 7, so as Tom's rages continued, I focused on forgiveness and mercy.

Though I rarely received bruises, the ever-present threat of physical harm was devastating and, at times, immobilizing. By far, the most harm I received was emotional. He'd call me a self-righteous b**** or a f***ing "good-girl" and end a tirade with a Scripture reference: "I'm just speaking the truth in love." He repeatedly told me what was "true" about me: I was controlling, disrespectful, unsubmissive, and self-important. I lost confidence in my ability to identify reality. "Truth" had been verbally twisted and used against me. The fear and constant threat of attack rendered me an emotional weakling.

My natural response was to work harder on myself. As a college-educated woman with a corporate career and a deep desire to serve God, I thought I must be capable of turning things around. Surely, I reasoned, Tom loves me. I just have to respect him more. Sometimes I am self-righteous and controlling. If I could be more humble, then things would be better. But nothing made a difference. As a result, I retreated into a quiet shell. I became smaller and Tom became bigger, louder, and more domineering. All the while, I was tenacious about hanging on to allow every opportunity for God to work a miracle and heal our relationship.

Going Public

Things became worse after our daughter was born. Tom continued a chaotic schedule. When he was home, his anger often erupted unprovoked. My daughter witnessed many verbal rages. Although directed at me, she was clearly affected by them. She began to respond as I did—trying not to disturb Tom and doing her best to please him. When a situation involving Tom's family members caused him great pain, I suggested we go to counseling to consider how to respond. He was open to this as it gave him a chance to talk about the shortcomings and dysfunction of others in his family. Eventually his focus shifted from his family, and he began to blame and accuse me. Driving to appointments, he'd warn that I shouldn't disrespect him in front of the counselor. And then during our sessions, Tom did most of the talking, attempting to convince the counselor I was controlling and disrespectful.

Our counselor made recommendations, and Tom's participation was marginal. For example, Tom was asked to call an accountability partner when he felt he was going to rage. But when the rage occurred, he'd tell me that because he hadn't truly raged he didn't need to call the friend. During counseling sessions, if I said something Tom disliked, he'd rage in the car on the way home and drive dangerously as he blustered.

But even with counseling, our situation didn't seem to get better. Typically the worst of Tom's rage was limited to our home, with only the three of us present. However, I was stunned and ashamed when my mom spent several days with us and witnessed Tom's manipulation, control, and chaotic schedule. Erratically driving the four of us to an event, Tom raged in the car. Mom confronted him, saying that if he was going to continue to drive that way he needed to stop and let the rest of us get out of the car. He simply grew silent and continued his dangerous driving. She became so uncomfortable with the hostility that she called my father to arrange an earlier flight home.

After my mom witnessed the abuse, I felt ready to speak up. I called our counselor and asked if I could talk to him without Tom in the room. I wrote what I intended to say to help ensure I'd actually say it. Choking through tears and shaking fearfully, I read my notes—and opened another door to truth and healing.

The counselor listened intently and acknowledged that what I revealed clarified things for him. His next recommendation was for both of us to bring support partners into our sessions. We were to go to others in the body of Christ we could trust, those who would hold us accountable to truth and compassionate action, and ask them for support. Through this I learned to accept one of the most important truths about the healing process: God uses the community of believers to facilitate his healing. Tom used this opportunity differently. He redirected his accounts of my perceived shortcomings and provocations to his support partners and was unwilling to accept their pleas for him to take responsibility for his anger.

At the insistence of the counselor, I shared the messy truth about my marriage with my family and four close girlfriends. I wasn't afraid of telling them, but I was terrified to actually face the abuse. No one was surprised to hear what was happening. Rather, they expressed relief as my story finally reconciled the inconsistencies they'd witnessed in my marriage. They began the long journey with me toward healing and resolution. My support partners sat in counseling sessions with me and cried and shook in anguish while listening to Tom's hostile accusations. As a result, they feared for my physical and emotional safety and checked in with me often. Family and friends wanted me to separate, and they faithfully and respectfully stood by me until I was ready.

Through this extremely difficult time, they educated themselves about domestic violence, which was a vital blessing to me. Together, we learned there were no easy answers. They prayed, searched Scripture with me, and listened as I processed my confusion and fear. They gave their time and emotional energy and experienced their own pain as they helped me.

Counselors and pastors made many appeals for Tom to be accountable to other men for handling his rage. These attempts to stop the abuse were unsuccessful, and, nearly two years after Tom threw me into our daughter's room, I made the decision to separate. I wanted restoration, and I knew that if Tom and I separated, divorce was possible—but I needed to do what was best for my daughter's and my health and safety. I wondered how divorce would affect my daughter. I also knew how the church viewed divorce and wondered if my church would accept my decision. And worse, I wondered how God would respond to me.

Finding God Faithful

After several years of separation, Tom and I divorced. I'm now a single mom with the daunting responsibility of providing financially for my daughter and me. Our new life isn't easy, but I feel grateful every day. My daughter is healthy and thriving. Due to the abuse, she's in my full legal custody. However, she sees her dad regularly. This requires me to communicate with Tom, and he's often abusive in phone conversations and e-mails. So I continue to wade through the wake of domestic violence. However, from experience I know it's possible to put victimization behind and find renewed direction, passion, and purpose.

he grief I experienced over the failure of my marriage was overwhelming, and the recovery process has been grueling. But God hasn't abandoned me. Rather, he's drawn me closer to him. I learned God's grace is completely reliable, and he can handle the messy truths in our lives. And the most awesome realization is that God wants to use me. As God now regularly opens doors of ministry to me, I'm charged with telling my story and sharing his message of grace. Throughout my recovery, I clung to Psalm 18 from The Message as a source of comfort:

But me he caught—reached all the way
from sky to sea; he pulled me out
Of that ocean of hate, that enemy chaos,
the void in which I was drowning.
They hit me when I was down,
but God stuck by me.
He stood me up on a wide-open field;
I stood there saved—surprised to be loved!

Gwyneth Nelson is a pseudonym.

Resources:

Hotlines:
National 24-hour Women of Substance Crisis Intervention Hotline: 1-866-862-2873
National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-7233

Ministries:
Peace and Safety in the Christian Home: www.peaceandsafety.com
FaithTrust Institute: www.faithtrustinstitute.org

Books: 
The Battered Wife by Nancy Nason-Clark

Violence in Families: What Every Christian Needs to Know by Al Miles

Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

Copyright © 2009 by the author or Christianity Today/Today's Christian Woman magazine.

See you next blog,

Ted

Once again I am posting a message by Pastor Ray Pritchard. What Jesus did on that cross was more than just die in our place for sin. If you understand why a blood sacrifice was required you will understand that Jesus not only met the requirement but exceeded them because He gave us so much more. There really is no reason why anyone should have to perish in hell, but it is a matter of choice. God built within in us a free will to choose. He didn't raise an army of robots to serve Him. He wanted those who most understood their need for savior. Our salvation was not only blood bought but blood secured-His blood!

Ray Pritchard
Keep Believing Ministries
Dallas, Texas

 

Four Ways God
Guarantees Your Salvation

Hebrews 6:13-20

“Jesus, if you are real, come into my life.”

It happens that I’m writing these words very near the 48^th anniversary of the day when I knelt on the concrete steps outside my home in Russellville, Alabama and prayed those simple words.

That was not a “textbook” prayer. It’s not what they teach in evangelism class. But I was as sincere as I knew how to be, and God in his kindness heard that prayer and answered it.

That was 48 years ago. Today I am almost 65 years old. The largest part of my life is already behind me. Who knows how many more days I have on earth? That thought lingers in the mind because a dear friend died last night of a heart attack. He was about my age. I know he was ready to meet the Lord. Of that I have no doubt.

But life is uncertain for all of us. So let me rephrase the question a bit. How can I know that my salvation will still be there when I come to the end of my life? It would be terrible to believe in Jesus and then come to the end and discover he wasn’t there to take me home to heaven.

How can we be sure?
How can we know?

We find a powerful answer in Hebrews 6:13-20. We can know now, and when the moment comes, we can die in faith, knowing that the Lord will be there to meet us. Here’s a sentence that sums up this passage: God gave us a promise guaranteed with an oath that gives us an anchor for the soul that rests on Jesus who is already in heaven on our behalf.

Let’s look at the four guarantees God makes in this passage.
 

Guarantee #1: God Made a Promise 

“For when God made a promise to Abraham, since he had no one greater to swear by, he swore by himself: ‘I will indeed bless you, and I will greatly multiply you.’  And so, after waiting patiently, Abraham obtained the promise” (vv. 13-15).

What was the promise Abraham believed? When Abraham was 99 years old, God promised to make him "father of many nations" (Genesis 17:5). This must have seemed incredible. Ninety-nine is a little late to be starting a family, and even if you could, how could you ever start a nation? No, the promise was clearly impossible, a pipe dream, a vain hope, just wishful thinking by an old man.

But somehow Abraham believed what God had said. If you go back to Genesis, you find that God repeated the promise five times—in Genesis 12, 13, 15, 17, 22.  It's as if God is saying, "I know you find this hard to believe, so I'm going to repeat myself until you believe it."

Here’s the amazing thing. God made the promise when Abraham was 75, but it was not fulfilled until he was 100. That means he had to wait a quarter-century to see the promise come to fruition. That’s the “waiting patiently” of verse 15. How did he manage to hang on during those long years? Many times he and Sarah must have doubted and wondered. At one point, they schemed together to “help God out” which led to the union with Hagar and the birth of Ishmael, a shortcut that brought trouble and animosity that lingers to this day.

Romans 4:18 says Abraham “hoped against hope.” The Cotton Patch Version says it this way, "He kept the faith even when the cards were stacked against him." Here’s what God said to Abraham:

It will happen.
It will blow you away
You only have to wait for it.

Abraham never gave up because he was God-centered, not man-centered. As long as Abraham looked at his circumstances, he could find a thousand reasons to give up:

"I'm too old."
"She's too old."
"Nothing like this has ever happened before."
"We've tried to have a baby for years and it hasn't worked."
"Our friends think we're nuts."

His only hope was to believe the promise of God. He did, and after 25 years his faith was rewarded.

This is where faith meets the acid test. Are you willing to believe God even when the outward circumstances argue against it? Here is a marvelous principle of the spiritual life: God wants to bring us to the place where our trust will be in him alone. He brings us to that place by removing all human supports. From time to time we find ourselves in a position where only God can help us out. At that moment, we tend to panic. That's unfortunate because when we get to a place where only God can help us out, we've become excellent candidates for a miracle from God.

That’s the first guarantee—God’s promise. If God had stopped there, it would have been enough to take us to heaven. But he added something to the promise so we could be perfectly certain of our salvation.
 

Guarantee #2: God Swore an Oath

“For people swear by something greater than themselves, and for them a confirming oath ends every dispute. Because God wanted to show his unchangeable purpose even more clearly to the heirs of the promise, he guaranteed it with an oath, so that through two unchangeable things, in which it is impossible for God to lie, we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to seize the hope set before us” (vv. 16-18).

We all understand the basic concept of taking an oath.

Every four years in America we have a presidential election. After the campaign is over and a victor declared, that person cannot assume the office until they swear an oath. In a public ceremony watched by millions, the new president must swear an oath to uphold the constitution. That oath is administered with the person’s right hand raised and their left hand on the Bible.

Why do we take an oath of office?
Why do witnesses take an oath before testifying?

We swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth because we are all liars by nature. The oath cannot guarantee a person will not lie, but it solemnizes the occasion so that if the person is found later to be a liar, the penalties will be much greater.

If you plan to lie, don’t take an oath! Lying under oath is called perjury. That’s a crime that will send you to jail for a long time.

So why does God swear an oath? We know God cannot lie. Everything he says is true the first time he says it. Don’t get confused about this.

Men take oaths because they lie all the time.
God swears an oath because he never lies.

We ought to believe God simply on the basis of his promise. But God knew we would doubt so he swore an oath in his own name to send a Savior who would deliver us. That’s the ultimate meaning of the promise made to Abraham. God always intended to bless the whole world through the ultimate seed of Abraham, the Lord Jesus Christ.

When you combine the promise with the oath, you get the “strong hope” of verse 18. But there’s one more thing we need to know. Verse 17 says God did this (combined the promise and the oath) because he eagerly desired for us to trust him. The phrase “eagerly desired” more literally means “even more willing” or “abundantly willing.” The Living Bible says God swore an oath so we might be “perfectly sure and never need to wonder whether he might change his plans.” That’s important because we often change our plans. We make promises, and then we break them. We say we’ll do something and then we do something else.

What if God were like that?
No one could ever be sure of anything.

When we mess up and do something stupid,
When we say something that hurts our loved ones,
When we lie to our friends,
When we give in to temptation,
When we yield to bitterness,
When we turn away from the Lord,

We often think, “God will never take me back.” If God were like you and me, that would be true. But God is not like us. That’s the whole point of this passage.

God does not change, which means he will be there when we need him most. In the midst of our difficulty, when we have failed, when we say, “I deserve to go to hell,” the Father speaks from heaven and says, “I have made a promise, and I swore an oath. Your sin cannot cancel my grace.”

Thank God for his oath!
He takes us to heaven in spite of ourselves.

But that’s not the end of it. We have God’s promise and God’s oath. Now we pass on to the third guarantee of our salvation.
 

Guarantee #3: God Gave Us an Anchor

“We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure. It enters the inner sanctuary behind the curtain” (v. 19).

Everyone has an anchor.

The only question is, how well does it hold? If your soul is anchored to your money, what will you do when the money runs out? If your soul is anchored to your spouse, what will you do when your spouse is taken from you? If your soul is anchored in your career, what will you do when you are fired? If your soul is anchored in your happiness, what will you do when hard times come?

If you put your anchor in the sand, it will never hold. You need a place for your anchor to rest so it can’t be moved. Nothing in this world will ever be strong enough to hold when your life falls apart. We need an anchor that cannot be moved no matter what happens, which means we need an anchor that is quite literally “out of this world.”

That’s what we have!

Most of us think of an anchor that goes down to the bottom of the ocean, but we have an anchor that goes up to heaven. Our anchor rests in the Holy of Holies in heaven, behind the curtain, in the very presence of God himself.

Guess who’s already there? Jesus! Our anchor has come to rest in heaven, behind the curtain, in the presence of God. The word “forerunner” describes a smaller boat that went ahead of a large ship to guide it into the harbor. When the storms are raging, the “forerunner” boat goes ahead of the large boat and drops the anchor in the harbor so the large boat is safe during the storm. When the time has come and the storms are past, the big boat enters the harbor also.

Jesus leads us home to heaven!

You couldn’t be safer than you already are because we are already anchored in heaven!  It’s not as if Jesus said, “I’m going to show you the way, but then you’re on your own.” It’s more like this: Jesus went ahead of us into heaven, and then he became the anchor for our soul.

We’re hooked up with Jesus in heaven.
We’re as safe as Jesus is safe!

If we could lose our salvation, that would mean Jesus himself had been thrown out of heaven. But that could never happen. That’s why the “hope” of verse 19 doesn’t refer to our subjective feelings. It’s not like saying, “I hope it doesn’t rain tomorrow because we’re going to the football game.” That’s just a human feeling. It might rain, or it might not. Our “hope” is not like that. It’s not wishful thinking. Our “hope” is the certainty that what Jesus has done for us guarantees our entrance into heaven.

That’s why the hope is called “firm.” The word means “never failing.” It comes from a Greek word that combines a word meaning “totter” or “fall” or “fail” plus the word “not.”

Our anchor will never fail.
Our anchor will never slip.
Our anchor will never give way.

Our anchor holds because it rests on Jesus in heaven!

That’s why my friend Jack Wyrtzen liked to say, “I’m as sure of heaven as if I’d already been there 10,000 years.” He’s right. If it depends on you or me, then we’re in trouble because we often fail, and sometimes our soul gives way. Sometimes we doubt, and sometimes we do stupid things.

If your salvation depends on you, you’re in big trouble. You’re not strong enough or smart enough or good enough to make it to heaven on your own. But when you go “all in” on Jesus, then God gives you an anchor for your soul nothing on earth can destroy. Your anchor will hold through cancer, family crisis, divorce, financial collapse, loss of dreams, and every bitter disappointment that comes your way.

Our passage contains one final guarantee. This is the one that holds it all together.
 

Guarantee #4: God Provided a Priest

“Jesus has entered there on our behalf as a forerunner, because he has become a high priest forever according to the order of Melchizedek” (v. 20).

We all need a priest.

God knew this, and that’s why he provided an entire system of priests in the Old Testament. It worked like this. God prescribed a system of sacrifices and offerings that the people brought to the priest who presented them to the Lord.

There was only one problem with that system.
It was never meant to be permanent.

The people had to keep on bringing the same offerings day after day, month after month, year after year. To make matters worse, the priests kept on dying because they were mortal, so no matter how good or noble or holy the priest was, he always had to be replaced.

As the graveyards filled up, the people were constantly reminded their whole system was temporary. What they needed was a priest who never died. Throughout all the long centuries between Moses and Christ, the Israelites kept looking forward to something better, something death could not destroy. The fact the sacrifices had to be repeated meant the blood of bulls and goats could never take away sin. That river of animal blood could never meet the deep needs of the heart. It symbolized something better that had not yet come.

God solved the problem in a most unusual way, one the Jews could never have imagined.

They needed an undying priest.
They needed a complete and final sacrifice.

That’s why God sent Jesus! He was the priest who was himself the final sacrifice. Because he died for the sins of all, his sacrifice was complete. Because he rose from the dead, he now lives forever. Verse 20 says Jesus is a high priest forever. He will never be replaced because he lives forever. His sacrifice ends all other sacrifices. His death defeated death once and for all. No one will ever take his place.

This means we can never lose our salvation because Christ lives forever. Let me say it another way. If anyone could lose their salvation, we would all lose ours too because it doesn’t depend on us. It all depends on Jesus.

What can you depend on?

Not your perseverance.
Not your good works.
Not your faith.

But only in God.

Hebrews 6:13-20 assures us our salvation rests upon God alone. Think about what God has done:

He made a promise.
He swore an oath.
He gave us an anchor.
He provided a priest.

What more do you need?
What more could you want?

It’s all grace, all the time, in every situation, for every person. We are going to heaven because of what God has done through his Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. This answers the question, “How do I know my salvation will be there when I die?” It will be there because Jesus will be there because he is a priest who lives forever.

It’s all wrapped up in Jesus.

If you want to go to heaven, you need to know him. There is no other hope and no other way. God has done so much and has gone so far that if you go to hell, don’t blame the Lord.

He made a way for you to be forgiven.
He offers you a new life.
He will give you a fresh start.
He will walk with you through this life.
He will take you home to heaven.

All he asks is that you trust his Son, the Lord Jesus Christ. In verse 18 the writer of Hebrews describes Christians as “we who have fled for refuge.” That’s us. That’s what it means to believe. That’s how you become a Christian. If you want to be relieved of the awful burden of sin and doubt and fear of the future, if you want a refuge, if you need an anchor for your soul, run to the cross.

Run to the cross. Lay hold of the Son of God who loved you and died for you. Lay hold of Jesus and never let go. No one will ever regret trusting in him. When ten thousand years have passed, you will still be singing “Amazing Grace.”

See you next blog,
Ted

The Power of a Dad

Sir you are very important if you are the right kind of father!

Happy Father's Day!

As we celebrate Father's Day this weekend, we encourage dads to never underestimate the God-given influence you have on your children. The depth of your character and the life you live each day will have an incredible and indelible impact on your sons and daughters.

May God grant you the fortitude and His abounding love to sustain you in one of life's most treasured pursuits–being a dad.

Watch: The Power of a Dad

Have a great weekend!