I will continue in the next blog to discuss the last part of Facing Our Fears, but because of emails asking me to define abuse in more detail I decided to include this:
Emotional Abuse Test: Am I Emotionally Abused? and Psychological Abuse Signs and Symptoms. All the information included in here is used to evaluate the amount and type of abuse you may have been subjected to in a dangerous relationship. It is extremely important to recognize emotion abuse when it occurs because though no bruises are apparent on the outside, the psychological and spiritual effects are long lasting and can lead to suicide. Please read this and do something about your abuse and your abuser! The churches have widely ignored abuse and even some of those who recognize it actually takes place often tell the abused to SUBMIT TO THE ABUSER IN A GODLY MANNER...WRONG!!!!!!!!! It is nothing short of cowardice to allow abuse to continue in a Christian marriage and to allow the abuser to enjoy any status within the confines of Christianity! The plain truth is that true Christian men do not abuse because if you exhibit the fruits of the spirit as outlined in the book of Galatians it is impossible to be an abuser.
Please comment if it is safe to do so, if you are not safe to do so call a help line or seek immediate abuse counseling. Do not let your abuser convince you they will stop...they never do!
Emotional Abuse Test: Am I Emotionally Abused?
Written by Natasha Tracy
Emotional abuse is common among children and many adults, so many ask: "Am I emotionally abused?" Take this emotional abuse test to find out if you're in an emotionally abusive situation.
Emotional Abuse Quiz Instructions
Carefully consider each question while thinking about yourself and your partner. Answer "yes" or "no" to each question on this emotional abuse quiz.
Emotional Abuse Test
Do you...
1. feel afraid of your partner or their tirades much of the time?
2. avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
3. feel that you can't do anything right for your partner?
4. believe that you must have done something wrong to be hurt or mistreated?
5. wonder if you're the one who is crazy?
6. feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner...
1. humiliate or yell at you?
2. criticize you and put you down?
3. treat you so badly that you're embarrassed for your friends or family to see?
4. ignore, diminish, or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
5. blame you for their own abusive behavior?
6. see you as property or a sex partner or object, rather than as a person?
7. have a bad and unpredictable temper?
8. hurt you, or threaten or gesture to hurt or kill you?
9. threaten to take your children away from you or harm them?
10. threaten to commit suicide if you leave?
11. force or coerce you to have sex?
12. destroy, move, or criticize your belongings?
13. accuse you of having boyfriends or act excessively jealous and possessive?
14. control where you go or what you do?
15. keep you from seeing your friends or family?
16. limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?
17. constantly check up on you, or track your whereabouts, or home computing?
18. act obsessive or compulsive about placement of things in the home
19. dismiss your feelings, pain, sickness or tell you that you are overly sensitive
20. manipulate your children or yourself by acts of kindness followed by
disappointment or anger
Emotional Abuse Test Scoring
The more questions you answered "yes" to in this emotional abuse quiz, the more likely it is that you are in an abusive relationship.
If you feel you are in an abusive relationship, reach out. No one deserves to be emotionally abused by another person, no matter what the circumstance. Remember that you are not alone and there are people available to help you.
To get help for emotional abuse:
· Call a help-line http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources/
· Go to Womanslaw.org to find state and national help:http://www.womenslaw.org/gethelp.php
· Contact your local police or call 911 if you feel you are in immediate danger
· Contact a child and family welfare agencyhttp://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html
· Talk to your doctor or other health professional
Emotional abuse test adapted from Domestic Abuse and Violence by HealthGuide.org.http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm
Psychological abuse also applies to children and may impair their development into a healthy adult.1
Psychological Abuse Signs and Symptoms
Psychological abuse signs and symptoms may start small at first as the abuser "tests the waters" to see what the other person will accept, but before long the psychological abuse builds into something that can be frightening and threatening.
Signs and symptoms of psychological abuse include:2
· Name calling (Read about: Emotional Bullying)
· Yelling
· Insulting the person
· Threatening the person or threatening to take away something that is important
to them
· Imitating or mocking the person
· Swearing at them
· Ignoring or punishing
· Isolating the person or make them feel small or insignificant
· Excluding them from meaningful events or activities
Examples of Psychological Abuse
The signs of psychological abuse can be seen in many ways and can be manifested in many behaviors. According to Kelly Holly, author of the Verbal Abuse in Relationships Blog, examples of psychological abuse in a relationshipinclude the following statements:3
· You're so cute when you try to concentrate! Look at her, man, she's trying to
think.
· That isn't at all what I meant. You'll never understand how much I love you.
· If you don't train that dog I'm going to rub your nose in its mess.
· I am more capable, smarter, and better educated than you. I will take our kids
if you leave me.
· Ohhhh...I'd love to smack you or kill you right now!
Moreover, Holly points out that psychological abuse can also include social, financial, spiritual and sexual components. Examples of these types of psychological abuse include:
· Your body feels like spam.
· Stop acting like such a whore. My friends are asking me if I let you behave that
way when I'm around or if it's just something you do on your own.
What I want is a slut at night and an angel by day that I can trust
· In what world does buying that make sense?
· You handle the finances for now; I'll step in when things go to hell.
· How dare you spread around our personal family business!
· Let me do the talking; people listen to men.
· You took a vow in front of God and everybody and I expect you to honor it!
· It is always your way, no matter how hard I try I can never get you to cooperate
· Women are to subjugate themselves to their husband in all ways.
It's important to remember that any of these examples of psychological abuse can happen to either a man or a woman.
reviewed by:
Harry Croft, MD (Psychiatrist)
Medical Director, HealthyPlace.com
Harry Croft, MD (Psychiatrist)
Medical Director, HealthyPlace.com
Created on 24 July 2012Last Updated on 28 July 2012
http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emotional-psychological-abuse/psychological-abuse-definition-signs-and-symptoms/
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