Emotional Abuse Test: Am I Emotionally Abused?

I will continue in the next blog to discuss the last part of Facing Our Fears, but because of emails asking me to define abuse in more detail I decided to include this:  

Emotional Abuse Test: Am I Emotionally Abused? and Psychological Abuse Signs and Symptoms. All the information included in here is used to evaluate the amount and type of abuse you may have been subjected to in a dangerous relationship. It is extremely important to recognize emotion abuse when it occurs because though no bruises are apparent on the outside, the psychological and spiritual effects are long lasting and can lead to suicide. Please read this and do something about your abuse and your abuser! The churches have widely ignored abuse and even some of those who recognize it actually takes place often tell the abused to SUBMIT TO THE ABUSER IN A GODLY MANNER...WRONG!!!!!!!!! It is nothing short of cowardice to allow abuse to continue in a Christian marriage and to allow the abuser to enjoy any status within the confines of Christianity! The plain truth is that true Christian men do not abuse because if you exhibit the fruits of the spirit as outlined in the book of Galatians it is impossible to be an abuser.

Please comment if it is safe to do so, if you are not safe to do so call a help line or seek immediate abuse counseling. Do not let your abuser convince you they will stop...they never do!

http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emotional-psychological-abuse/emotional-abuse-definition s-signs-symptoms-examples/

Emotional Abuse Test: Am I Emotionally Abused? 

Written by Natasha Tracy

Emotional abuse is common among children and many adults, so many ask: "Am I emotionally abused?" Take this emotional abuse test to find out if you're in an emotionally abusive situation.

Emotional Abuse Quiz Instructions

Carefully consider each question while thinking about yourself and your partner. Answer "yes" or "no" to each question on this emotional abuse quiz.

Emotional Abuse Test

Do you...

1.                          feel afraid of your partner or their tirades much of the time?

2.                          avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?

3.                          feel that you can't do anything right for your partner?

4.                          believe that you must have done something wrong to be hurt or mistreated?

5.                          wonder if you're the one who is crazy?

6.                          feel emotionally numb or helpless?

Does your partner...

1.                          humiliate or yell at you?

2.                          criticize you and put you down?

3.                          treat you so badly that you're embarrassed for your friends or family to see?

4.                          ignore, diminish, or put down your opinions or accomplishments?

5.                          blame you for their own abusive behavior?

6.                          see you as property or a sex partner or object, rather than as a person?

7.                          have a bad and unpredictable temper?

8.                          hurt you, or threaten or gesture to hurt or kill you?

9.                          threaten to take your children away from you or harm them?

10.                        threaten to commit suicide if you leave?

11.                        force or coerce you to have sex?

12.                        destroy, move, or criticize your belongings?

13.                        accuse you of having boyfriends or act excessively jealous and possessive?

14.                        control where you go or what you do?

15.                        keep you from seeing your friends or family?

16.                        limit your access to money, the phone, or the car?

17.                        constantly check up on you, or track your whereabouts, or home computing?

18.                        act obsessive or compulsive about placement of things in the home

19.                        dismiss your feelings, pain, sickness or tell you that you are overly sensitive

20.                        manipulate your children or yourself by acts of kindness followed by  

                             disappointment or anger

Emotional Abuse Test Scoring

The more questions you answered "yes" to in this emotional abuse quiz, the more likely it is that you are in an abusive relationship.

If you feel you are in an abusive relationship, reach out. No one deserves to be emotionally abused by another person, no matter what the circumstance. Remember that you are not alone and there are people available to help you.

To get help for emotional abuse:

·                           Call a help-line http://www.healthyplace.com/other-info/resources/mental-health-hotline-numbers-and-referral-resources/

·                           Go to Womanslaw.org to find state and national help:http://www.womenslaw.org/gethelp.php

·                           Contact your local police or call 911 if you feel you are in immediate danger

·                           Contact a child and family welfare agencyhttp://www.acf.hhs.gov/programs/cse/extinf.html

·                           Talk to your doctor or other health professional

Emotional abuse test adapted from Domestic Abuse and Violence by HealthGuide.org.http://helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

article references

Psychological abuse also applies to children and may impair their development into a healthy adult.¹

Psychological Abuse Signs and Symptoms

Psychological abuse signs and symptoms may start small at first as the abuser "tests the waters" to see what the other person will accept, but before long the psychological abuse builds into something that can be frightening and threatening.

Signs and symptoms of psychological abuse include:²

·                           Name calling (Read about: Emotional Bullying)

·                           Yelling

·                           Insulting the person

·                           Threatening the person or threatening to take away something that is important

                            to them

·                           Imitating or mocking the person

·                           Swearing at them

·                           Ignoring or punishing 

·                           Isolating the person or make them feel small or insignificant

·                           Excluding them from meaningful events or activities

Examples of Psychological Abuse

The signs of psychological abuse can be seen in many ways and can be manifested in many behaviors. According to Kelly Holly, author of the Verbal Abuse in Relationships Blog, examples of psychological abuse in a relationshipinclude the following statements:³

·                           You're so cute when you try to concentrate! Look at her, man, she's trying to  

                             think.

·                           That isn't at all what I meant. You'll never understand how much I love you.

·                           If you don't train that dog I'm going to rub your nose in its mess.

·                           I am more capable, smarter, and better educated than you. I will take our kids

                            if you leave me.

·                           Ohhhh...I'd love to smack you or kill you right now!

Moreover, Holly points out that psychological abuse can also include social, financial, spiritual and sexual components. Examples of these types of psychological abuse include:

·                           Your body feels like spam.

·                           Stop acting like such a whore. My friends are asking me if I let you behave that    

                            way when I'm around or if it's just something you do on your own.

                            What I want is a slut at night and an angel by day that I can trust

·                           In what world does buying that make sense?

·                           You handle the finances for now; I'll step in when things go to hell.

·                           How dare you spread around our personal family business!

·                           Let me do the talking; people listen to men.

·                           You took a vow in front of God and everybody and I expect you to honor it!

·                           It is always your way, no matter how hard I try I can never get you to cooperate

·                           Women are to subjugate themselves to their husband in all ways.

It's important to remember that any of these examples of psychological abuse can happen to either a man or a woman.

reviewed by:
Harry Croft, MD (Psychiatrist)
Medical Director, HealthyPlace.com

Created on 24 July 2012Last Updated on 28 July 2012

article references

http://www.healthyplace.com/abuse/emotional-psychological-abuse/psychological-abuse-definition-signs-and-symptoms/

Effects of Emotional Abuse on Adults

I am adding this blog along with the blog on Part II of Facing Our Fears because of some women who need help in recognizing that the emotional abuse they have suffered has short term and long term effects that they are now experiencing. Please read this and understand that it is important that you recognize you are in need of help. These things should be discussed with a professional counselor

Effects of Emotional Abuse on Adults

Written by Natasha Tracy

The effects of physical abuse are obvious – a black eye, a cut or a bruise – but the effects of emotional abuse may be harder to spot. Emotionally abusive husbands or wives can affect mood, sex drive, work, school and other areas of life. Make no mistake about it; the effects of emotional abuse can be just as severe as those from physical abuse.

And perhaps even worse is the fact that victims of emotional abuse tend to blame themselves and minimize their abuse, saying that it was "only" emotional and "at least he/she didn't hit me." But minimizing adult emotional abuse won't help and it won't hide its devastating effects.

Short-Term Effects of Emotional Abuse

Short-term effects of an emotionally abusive(Emotionally Abusive Men and Women: Who Are They?) husband or wife often have to do with the surprise of being in the situation or the questioning of just how the situation arose. Some emotional abusers don't begin their abuse until well into a relationship. Husbands or wives may find themselves shocked to see the new, emotionally abusive behavior. The behavior and thoughts of the victim then change in response to the emotional abuse.

Short-term effects of emotional abuse include:

• Surprise and confusion
• Questioning of one's own memory, "did that really happen?"
• Anxiety or fear; hypervigilence
• False Shame or guilt
• Aggression (as a defense to the abuse)
• Becoming overly passive or compliant
• Frequent crying
• Avoidance of eye contact
• Feeling powerless and defeated as nothing you do ever seems to be right (learned helplessness)
• Feeling like you're "walking on eggshells"
• Feeling manipulated, used and controlled
• Feeling undesirable

A partner may also find themselves trying to do anything possible to bring the relationship back to the way it was before the abuse.

Long-Term Effects of Emotional Abuse

In long-term emotionally abusive situations, the victim has such low self-esteem that they often feel they cannot leave their abuser and that they are not worthy of a non-abusive relationship. Adult emotional abuse leads to the victim believing the terrible things that the abuser says about him/her. Emotional abuse victims often think they're "going crazy."²

Effects of long-term emotional abuse by significant others, boyfriends or girlfriends include:

• Depression
• Withdrawal
• Low self-esteem and self-worth
• Emotional instability
• Sleep disturbances
• Physical pain without cause
• Suicidal ideation, thoughts or attempts
• Extreme dependence on the abuser
• Underachievement
• Inability to trust
• Feeling trapped and alone
• Substance abuse

Stockholm Syndrome is also common in long-term abuse situations. In Stockholm Syndrome, the victim is so terrified of the abuser that the victim overly identifies and becomes bonded with the abuser in an attempt to stop the abuse. The victim will even defend their abuser and their emotionally abusive actions. Children, as they grow older, tend to do this in an attempt to keep home life tranquil.

reviewed by:
Harry Croft, MD (Psychiatrist)
Medical Director, HealthyPlace.com

Created on 24 July 2012Last Updated on 28 July 2012
see you next blog,Ted

Facing Our Fears Part II

This is part II of III. In part III I will cover more detail in dealing with crippling fears that trap you in bad situations to include bad marriages where verbal and physical abuse is taking place. In this segment I would rather we learn how trustworthy God is in dealing with our fears and emphasizing that He knows us intimately and that we can trust Him! He has proven himself faithful as we will see.

Why then does God take so long to answer our deepest, most heartfelt prayers? From Abraham’s experience we may suggest three answers:

1. To develop perseverance in us.

To put it very simply, it would be too easy if God answered all our prayers the first time we prayed them. Not only would we take God for granted, we would also develop a shallow faith.

I knew of someone who was stuck in a difficult job situation. She works with a colleague who comes across as an easy-going nice guy to some. “But he’s not like that behind the scenes,” she says. Every time she has a good idea, he either steals it or complains to the boss if it wasn't an idea he could take credit for. He is always grandstanding and trying to impress those around him with his arrogance. He has a disdain for women and it has been demonstrated in the way he treats any female who appears to diminish or ursurp his authority by correcting his errors. And since his job is more important than hers, he always wins. He also uses threats and intimidation to get his way. He thinks only of himself and how he can get ahead, and he doesn't mind being ruthless if that’s what it takes to get what he wants.

Sound familiar? Every office probably has a manager or overly ambitious co-worker  who answers to that description. When I asked my friend if she was planning on leaving her job, she gave a very wise answer: “I prayed for this job and he was here when I took it. I can wait and see how God is going to deal with the arrogance of this individual."

Here is a woman whose faith is growing stronger through a difficult situation. Every day she is being given new opportunities to trust God and to respond appropriately to an unkind coworker. Meanwhile, she prays for God to work in her and through her and, if necessary, to change his position or her situation. My own feeling is that God will eventually answer her prayers by either moving her on to a new job or by removing the other person. But that may not happen for months or years, and until then, my friend is developing many godly qualities as she patiently waits on the Lord.

2. To ensure that God alone gets the glory.

When Paul wrote about Abraham’s story, he mentioned this point prominently. Romans 4:19-21 says,

            “Without weakening in his faith, he faced the fact that his body was as good as dead-since he was about a hundred years old-and that Sarah’s womb was also dead. Yet he did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what he had promised.”

Not only did Abraham have to wait twenty-five years for an answer to his prayers, he also had to suffer the humiliation of his own failed schemes. Immediately after God spoke to him in Genesis 15, he agreed with Sarah to sleep with their maidservant Hagar in hope of conceiving a child through her. It worked, and Ishmael was born. But this shortsighted attempt to “help God out” backfired and brought sadness and heartache to everyone involved.

God often delays his answers so that we will have plenty of opportunity to fail using our own resources. Only then does God act, but when he does, it demonstrates that he alone is responsible for answering our prayers and that he alone must get the glory.

3. To deepen our trust in God.

I think that’s why Hebrews 11 gives more space to Abraham’s story than to any other Old Testament hero. He is the preeminent man of faith in the Bible. When we read his story and see how long he waited (twenty-five years), we gain a new perspective on our own situation.

If Abraham had to wait, it should not surprise us that we will often have to wait a long time for the fulfillment of our dreams and the answers to our prayers. And as with Abraham, waiting is not bad if it causes us to deepen our trust in God and to learn more about his character.

The Answer is a Person-Himself

God’s answer to fear is not an argument or a formula. It’s a Person. That’s why he said to Abraham, “Fear not. I am your shield.” God himself is the final answer to every fear of the human heart. "Be still and know that I am God!"

Have you ever wondered why God called himself by the name “I AM” in the Old Testament? Above all else, it means that God is eternally existent and therefore all creation depends on him. God stands alone. No one can be compared to him. He is complete in himself. God doesn’t need us but we desperately need him.

Think of it this way. To say that God is the great “I AM” means that when we come to him, he is everything we need at exactly that moment. It’s as if God is saying . . .

I am your strength.   

I am your courage.      

I am your health.        

I am your hope.          

I am your supply.         

I am your defender.     

I am your deliverer.    

I am your forgiveness. 

I am your joy.               

I am your future.

God is saying to you and me, “I am whatever you need whenever you need it." He is the all-sufficient God for every crisis.

From Fear to Faith

Let’s wrap up this message by looking at four principles that will move us from fear to faith.

1. Faith focuses on God, not on your problems.

A woman told me that she had changed her phone number and left it unlisted because she is gripped with fear as she thinks about certain people and what they might do to her. As we talked together, I finally said, “It’s time to move from fear to faith. Are you ready to move with me?” She smiled hesitantly and then said yes. We prayed, claiming God’s promises of protection. When I saw her the next day she said that she had slept much better that night because she wasn’t focusing on her fears.

Think of Abraham. The past argued against his ever having a child. So did the present. His only hope lay in the promises of God for the future. As long as he looked back, he would never have faith to believe God. His only hope was to step out into the future, trusting that somehow, someway God would keep his promises.

2. Faith trusts in God’s timing, not your own.

So many of our struggles with fear start right here. Deep down, we fear that God has somehow made a mistake in his dealings with us. Like Abraham, we have waited and waited-sometimes for years on end. Even though we may have seen many remarkable answers to prayer, the one thing that means the most to us has not been granted.

As I write these words I am thinking of certain people I know who pray faithfully week after week for their loved ones to be saved. Some of them write notes each week asking prayer for an unsaved husband or wife. Week in and week out the requests come in and the staff prays for them faithfully. One husband has been praying for his wife for many years with no real change in sight. Another wife faithfully requests prayer for her husband. Sometimes he seems interested in spiritual things, and then his interest suddenly seems to disappear.

Where is God? Why doesn’t he answer the fervent, heartfelt prayers of his people?

Of the many answers that might be given to that question, one answer must be that God’s timing and ours are often quite different. Sometimes it seems like we live in one time zone and God lives in another.

3. Faith grows by believing God in spite of your circumstances.

Sometimes our circumstances make it easy to believe in God; other times we have to struggle. As I write these words I have a friend who is entering the final stages of his battle with cancer. After long and difficult treatments, there is nothing else the doctors can do. He is one of the finest men I know; a man whose gentle spirit endears him to others. No one knows how much time he has left, but it seems to be a matter of a few days. The last time I talked with him, he spoke about the goodness of God. He added that he and his wife had had a long and happy life together and they knew that God would take care of them. His wife said simply, “No matter what happens we are trusting in the Lord.” That’s biblical faith rising above circumstances to lay hold of the eternal promises of God.

4. Faith obeys God one step at a time.

This principle is often overlooked by those seeking to do God’s will. God promised a child and Abraham desperately wanted to see the fulfillment of that promise. So what does God tell him to do? Round up the animals for a sacrifice (see Genesis 15:9-11). How do you get from there to the nursery? Abraham doesn’t have a clue and God doesn’t tell him a thing. But Abraham now has a choice. He can choose to obey God, round up the animals, and get ready for a sacrifice, even though it doesn’t seem to connect with the son of his dreams. Or he can argue with God or decide to take matters in his own hands.

How often we stumble over this. We slight the near in favor of the far, shirking the duties of today because we are dreaming about some distant tomorrow. But until we have done what God has called us to do today, we will never be prepared for what he wants us to do tomorrow.

In the end 99 percent of life turns out to be humdrum, ordinary routine. It’s the same old thing day after day. Yet out of the humdrum God is weaving an unseen pattern that will one day lead us in a new direction. Faith take the next step- whatever it is-and walking with God wherever he leads us. Sometimes it will make sense, other times it won’t. But we still have to take that step if we are going to do God’s will.

THE BIG QUESTION: Can God Be Trusted?

Everything I’ve been trying to say comes down to one simple question: Can God be trusted to do what is right? If the answer is yes, then we can face the worst that life has to offer. If the answer is no, then we’re no better off than the people who have no faith at all. In fact, if the answer is no or if we’re not sure, then we really don’t have any faith anyway.

I was a young pastor when my best friend's father died 39 years ago.  I came face to face with the ultimate unanswerable question of life. Tom's dad, Neil, was an elder in the church and his death was terrible and sudden. I didn't know then why such a good man would have to die at the age of fifty-six. He was a model of perfect health but a irresponsible drunk ended a life that produced so much fruit.  All of his sons had a deep commitment to God and to their community. He was a true shepherd-leader in his home and to those he had care of. I had no clue about what God was doing. In the years since then I have learned many things about life, but I confess that I still don’t understand why Neil died so young. It doesn't make any more sense to me now than it did then. I am older and wiser, but in the one question that really matters I have no answers. But I have learned since then that faith is a choice you make. Sometimes you choose to believe because of what you see; often you must believe in spite of what you can see.

As I look to the world around me, many things remain mysterious and unanswerable. But if there is no God, and if he is not good, then nothing at all makes sense. I have chosen to believe because I must believe. I truly have no other choice. Besides there is too much evidence that shows God to be a benevolent, loving God because of Jesus Christ and the finished work on a hill called Golgotha.

“But I Can Trust”

Pioneer missionary J. Hudson Taylor founded the China Inland Mission in 1865. During the terrible days of the Boxer Rebellion (1898-1901), when missionaries were being captured and killed, he went through such agony of soul that he could not pray. Writing in his journal, he summarized his spiritual condition this way: “I can’t read. I can’t think. I can’t pray. But I can trust.”

There may be situations so desperate that we can’t read the Bible as we should. Sometimes our situations are so desperate that we won’t be able to focus our thoughts on God at all. There are things that are so terrible that we may not even be able to pray. But in those moments when we can’t do anything else, we can still trust in the loving purposes of our heavenly Father. We simply look to heaven and tell God we are placing our life in His hands.

Fear not, child of God. No one knows what a day may bring. Who knows if we will all make it through this week? But our God is faithful to keep every one of his promises. Nothing can happen to us except it first passes through the hands of God. If your way is dark, keep on believing. His eye is on the sparrow, and I know he cares for you. If you really need some assurance of His attention to you individually then read this from God: 

Isaiah 49:16 See, I have engraved you on the palm of my hand...

The last segment will cover dealing with the fear of those individuals who make you fear in order to control you, and those whose lives are so miserable that they want you to feel their pain by experiencing it yourself!

See you next blog,
Ted

Facing Our Fears

Please remember to pray for the families of Sandy Hook Elementary

What are you afraid of? What if I told you that you are not alone in your fears? Do you know that there are people who project fear on you and make you insecure...they actually want you to fear so they can control you! 

There are also those whose fears are so devastating that they project their fears on you. They live a miserable existence because they want to be adored and accepted in spite of bad character and want you to live in their fear and misery.

So many things happen daily in this world that can accelerate our fears and for some beyond reason. If we make more laws or have more prisons will that stop crime? NO! If we ban guns will that stop killings? NO! Why? Because there truly is something called a "sin nature." We are all born with it! We do things against our conscience, our upbringing, and yes, our God,  because we "choose" to do so. 

Recently Caty Medrano published an article called Top 10 Strong Human Fears. These are the top fears shared by people everywhere. The list in many ways is self-explanatory. 

10. Losing Your Freedom

9. The Unknown

8. Pain

7. Disappointment in yourself as well as from others

6. Misery

5. Loneliness

4. Ridicule

3. Rejection

2. Death

1. Failure

Many of these fears are tied together, such as death and the unknown, rejection and ridicule, pain and misery, and failure and loneliness. We can also observe that these are mostly existential fears that describe an inner condition of the heart. Unfortunately there are those among us who create their own misery, pain, ridicule, loneliness  rejection, etc., by projecting it on others. They create their own self-fulfilling failure by creating an atmosphere of fear! I will tell their victims that in this sermon there is hope for deliverance from the fears of life and our fellow man. I am going to exclude this group of individuals at this time and pick it up on my next blog. 

Let's talk about those of us who just have fears of this life in general.

We all have our fears, don’t we?

Your list won’t be same as mine, but we can all identify with some things on the second list and most of the first list. We certainly fear rejection by those we love even if those we love are abusive to us-yes even children can be abusive to parents if no boundaries are enforced or a parent sets a bad example by their treatment of the other. Children gravitate to the strongest in relationships thinking they will not be abused by the abuser. Who among us does not think about our own death from time to time. When will it happen and under what circumstances? If we are wise, we also wonder, what then? What happens to those left behind?

I’m not surprised that fear of failure comes at the top for many people. How frustrating to feel like you’ve wasted your short sojourn on planet earth. It’s a terrible thing to conclude that your life was a bust because it didn't turn out the way you hoped it would. You see failure is never final. Whether it is a job loss, a marriage loss, or your life in general up to this point-failure is never final unless we just give up on life. My favorite drill instructor in the army used to say, "it ain't over until the fat lady sings and she ain't even warming up in the wings yet-there is always one more thing you can do!"

Somewhere in all our thinking God has to figure into the equation. There must be a reason that the Bible tells us (in various ways and in various places) to “fear not” hundreds of times. Fear is such a basic human emotion that many of us constantly live in the grip of fear, worry and anxiety. God told us to “fear not” because he knew that we would all wrestle with fear sooner or later.

What do you do when your fears seem to be winning the day? What if you pray and God still hasn’t come through for you? If you are like most people, you begin to lose hope, and you wonder why you bothered to pray in the first place. Deep in the soil of your heart, little seeds of doubt take root, growing up into a harvest of frustration and anger.

It happens to most of us eventually. Some of the best men and women of the Bible struggled with their inner doubts when their dreams didn’t come true.

Waiting for a Baby

Abraham’s story illustrates that truth. In order to get the context, we have to go back forty centuries, back to a time long ago and far away, to a place called Ur of the Chaldees, a large city on the banks of the Euphrates River. That river still exists. It flows through Iraq and empties into the Persian Gulf not far from Kuwait.

Historians tell us that Ur was one of the most important cities of the ancient world. In Abraham’s day perhaps 250,000 people lived there. There was an ancient university in Ur and a large library. Ur was known as a center for mathematics, astronomy, and international commerce. It was like Chicago or New York or London or Singapore.

What else do we know about Abraham (he is first called Abram, and later Abraham) as the story begins? He’s about seventy-five years old when we meet him, which in those days would be considered middle-aged. He’s a prosperous businessman who is no doubt well-known to many people. He and his wife Sarah (first called Sarai), and they have no children. It is against that backdrop that God speaks to Abram for the first time in Genesis 12:1-3:

            The Lord had said to Abram, “Leave your country, your people and your father’s household and go to the land I will show you. I will make you into a great nation and I will bless you; I will make your name great and you will be a blessing. I will bless those who bless you, and whoever curses you I will curse; and all peoples on earth will be blessed through you.”

Later God promised to give him descendants "like the dust of the earth” (Genesis 13:16). Ten years quickly pass without any sign of children. Abraham is almost eighty-five and not getting any younger. Sarah is far past child-bearing age. Even though he has just won a great victory (see Genesis 14), nothing can satisfy his deep desire for a son.

Only those who have gone through this experience can fully empathize with Abraham and Sarah. There is no sadness like the sadness of wanting children of your own but being unable to have them. Even in this day of modern medicine and advanced technology, many couples wait for years and some couples wait forever.

I think Abraham’s greatest fear stemmed from the fact that God did not seem in a hurry to give them a child. How much longer would he wait? Why had he delayed? Had God changed his mind? Was there some problem he didn’t know about? Had they sinned? Were they doing something displeasing to God? Why was Sarah’s womb still closed? If God had promised, why was it taking so long to be fulfilled? Should they go to Plan B? All those questions were running through Abram’s mind. God knew exactly what his servant was thinking. He saw the doubt. He understood the fear. Now he moves to reassure Abram that all will be well. The time has not yet come for the child to be born, but it isn’t far off either.

“I Am Your Shield”

            “After this, the word of the Lord came to Abram in a vision: ’Do not be afraid, Abram, I am your shield, your very great reward’” (Genesis 15:1).

There are at least four reasons Abram could have doubted God’s promise of a son:

1. He was too old.

2. Many years had passed since the promise had been given.

3. Nothing like this had ever happened before.

4. Sarah also doubted God’s promise.

When you think about it, there was no reason to believe-no reason except that God had promised to do it. The question now is simple: Will God’s promise be enough for Abraham?

In answer to that question, God declares, “I am your shield.” We should not think of a small shield that covers only the chest area, but rather of a shield that stretches from head to toe and completely protects every part of the soldier’s body. Such a shield offers complete protection from every attack of the enemy.

To call God our shield means two specific things:

1. He protects us in times of doubt.

2. He rescues us in times of danger.

Note that God does not say, “I will give you a shield,” but “I am your shield.” The very God of heaven says that he will be our shield, which means we have a shield that is omnipotent, universal, eternal. That shield cannot be defeated. It is as strong as God himself.

We could not be in a better position. Who can defeat us when God himself is our shield?

The great message is certainly clear. If God is your shield, fear not!

Immortal Until

It has been said that “a Christian is immortal until his work on earth is done." That statement means that nothing can harm you without God’s permission. Not cancer, not AIDS, not bankruptcy, not theft, not physical disability, not the loss of your job, not a terrible accident, not the death of a child, not any of a thousand other sorrows that afflict the children of God. Christians aren’t immune to sadness. What happens to others also happens to us. The difference is this. We know that God protects us from harm so that nothing can touch us that doesn’t first pass through his hands of love. That knowledge doesn’t mean that we don’t weep or we don’t suffer. Far from it. But it is the basis for the statement that “we sorrow but not as those who have no hope” (1 Thessalonians 4:13). Our sorrow is different precisely because we hope in God.

“You Can Do Nothing to Me”

A missionary in India told me how she had nearly been put in jail when a hostile lawyer began harassing her and the local Christian hospital. He objected to the fact that the hospital openly did evangelism along with its compassionate medical care. Seeking a pretext for legal action, the lawyer accused the hospital of illegally selling intravenous fluid to its patients. It wasn’t true, but that didn’t matter. For nearly ten years the case bumped up and down the court system of that country. At one point several years ago it appeared likely that the missionary might either be thrown in jail or forced to leave the country. “I’m going to shut down this hospital,” the lawyer chortled, “And you’re going to jail or I’ll have you deported.”

To which the missionary replied, “You can do nothing to me except what my God permits you to do.”

That’s a perfectly biblical answer. Our God is a shield around his people. Nothing can touch us except that which God permits.

Why God Delays His Answers

That brings us back to the central issue. Why did God wait so long to give Abraham a son? Abraham was seventy-five when God first spoke to him and one hundred when Isaac was finally born. He was almost eighty-five when God came to him and said, “Fear not.” After all these years God still wasn’t ready to answer Abraham’s prayers. Abraham was old, but he would be older yet before Isaac was finally born.

Of all the questions that plague the people of God, none is so vexing as the question of unanswered prayer. We know God loves us and has a good plan for our lives. Why then does God take so long to answer our deepest, most heartfelt prayers? 

We will cover this subject and other fears that were faced by those the Bible describes in Hebrews 11. Look  for the next segment of Facing Our Fears soon

See you next blog,

Ted