Thursday, December 25, 2014

God Exists: Potent Evidence & Proof that Refute the Atheists

Christians who are involved in the struggle to discuss God on the Internet are constantly being bombarded with atheistic rhetoric, bad science called evolution, and so-called LOGIC to refute FAITH. Worse, there is a move to have Christians labeled as MENTALLY ILL for their naive beliefs. It is not that there isn't a lack of material that soundly refutes atheism but the material requires real focus and thought and let's face it...most Christians are too lazy to put that much effort into learning how to refute atheism! The Bible commands us to give an account for the hope that is in us, therefore we must take knowledge seriously. I encourage every believer to get the book A Manual For Converting Atheist by Mike Robinson. It doesn't mean they will convert because they are as blind as they accuse us of being, but at least you will have taken away their thunder!

but sanctify Christ as Lord in your hearts, always being 
ready to make a defense to everyone who asks you to give an account for the hope that is in you, yet with gentleness and reverence;

The following is from Pastor Mike Robinson-an Apologist

God Exists: Powerful Evidence that Refutes the Atheists Movement to Have Christians committed as sick

 by Mike Robinson

If there is a god maybe it rewards those who don't believe on the basis of insufficient evidence--and punishes those who do (Peter Boghossian, A Manual for Creating Atheists).
The worst moment for the atheist is when he is really thankful, and has nobody to thank (Dante Rossetti). 
Humanism or atheism is a wonderful philosophy of life as long as you are big, strong, and between the ages of eighteen and thirty-five. But watch out if you are in a lifeboat and there are others who are younger, bigger, or smarter (William Murray).
refuting new atheist boghossian
The first century Church was in crisis at the very beginning. The Roman governor Pontius Pilate had ordered the execution of Jesus Christ, and many apostles had run away and hid from the authorities. Priests had turned Christ over to the pagan procurator and successfully urged him to crucify Christ. Evangelists and teachers had surrendered their ministry to be derided and disallowed in the city streets as well as anywhere near the temple. An air of distress and fear hung over the church. Some might have thought that God was dead.

But something powerful, even colossal, arose to restore the confidence and buoyancy of the New Testament congregation: the resurrection of Jesus Christ. The task of the church, in the Christ’s vision, was to preach the good news of redemption to a fallen world as it seeks to make disciples (Matthew 28:19-20). Jesus sought to purge sin from His people’s record and reduce the amount of wickedness in every corner of the globe through the expanse of the church.

After Christ’s resurrection appearances, the church believed that, in all lands, the first job was to preach the gospel (the death and resurrection of Christ: 1 Corinthians 15:1-4) and then defend the faith (1Peter 3:15). Yes, it’s undeniable that Jesus was unlawfully arrested and sentenced to death. Yes, Jesus died. But on the third day Christ arose and this truth wouldn't be diluted by fright and anxiety. With this offensive posture, the apostolic church built a robust ark for all those who came to Christ. The resurrection changed everything. Clearly, God is not dead!

One of the problems with selected sects and cults, the church points, is that they are too static. They try to seal off an ark to ride out the tempest, but they end up shutting themselves in. They cut themselves off from others and the challenge of truth. In contrast, the church is on the move because God is alive.

Christ mounted the wings of resurrection power and His followers run with a risen Savior. Thus, the people of God go on the offense and swallow the ungodly domain as it transforms it by the word of God. In addition, the empowering truth of the resurrection is assured and is to always be defended (Jude 3).

They cannot defeat us. Christ has died. Christ has risen. We are alive in him. And in him there is no condemnation. We are forgiven.[1]

If one had sufficient evidence to warrant belief in a particular claim, then one wouldn’t believe the claim on the basis of faith. “Faith” is the word one uses when one does not have enough evidence to justify holding a belief, but when one just goes ahead and believes anyway (Peter Boghossian, A Manual for Creating Atheists).
Often, the Bible uses evidential arguments. For example, when scripture states in Psalm 19 that the heavens declare the glory of God, it is denoting how God’s glory is manifested in the natural world. It is proven by nature itself. Evidence and proof are everywhere around us. If you offer an evidential assertion, you should have real evidence to posit such.

Equally, there is no amount of evidence that is adequate in and of itself to persuade a non-believer of the truth of Jesus Christ. Prayer must be undertaken and the gospel must be presented, but God’s grace is the ultimate means for salvation of a soul.

At night, atheists find themselves looking out at the starry hosts spangled against the dark canvass of the night and declare that it was all just an accident. They do not see design where design clearly resides. The mathematical precision necessary for the running of the planets to and fro was not designed. All the precision came from chaos and blind chance. They have blind faith in scientism as they suppress the truth in unrighteousness. In actuality, they know that God designed the cosmos, but they do not want to believe it. [see book for more HERE]

Logically, there cannot be any true atheists. For one to propose that God does not exist, anywhere at any time, one would have to know all things, and be omnipresent, eternal, and infinite. That would make you God.

So, the only person in the universe who could possibly not believe in God, everywhere, and always, would be God. One would have to be God to be a true atheist and that is theoretically, logically, and rationally absurd.

defeat new atheists
No one has enough blind faith to believe that:

  1. Order came from disorder
  2. Uniformity came from the accidental
  3. Intelligence came from non-intelligence
  4. Design came from chaos
  5. Personality came from non-personality
  6. Love came from hard matter
  7. Something came from nothing
Militant Atheists and Skeptics

Richard Dawkins called upon fellow anti-theists to implement crass mocking as a tactic to use against religious people: “…mock them. Ridicule them. In public ... religion makes specific claims about the universe which need to be substantiated, and need to be challenged, and, if necessary, need to be ridiculed with contempt.”
expose richard dawkins
Ever since I became a Christian in my early twenties, I have spoken with many hundreds of non-Christians who have told me that I was wrong to believe in God. The most bitter and rancorous of these rebukes have come from atheists. This behavior is consistent with men who lack an absolute moral standard and, therefore, they often sputter out caustic and biting reproofs against God and Christians. Once they understand that the believer has the intellectual upper hand, they get very defensive and, frequently, very angry. No other group with whom I have had dialogues seems to get enraged so often. These conversations have been at universities, coffeehouses, bookstores, homes, philosophy groups, and other forums. I ascribe this behavior to human nature and to the weak intellectual worldview that atheism provides.

Christians may behave rudely and unruly, but when they act this way they are in opposition to the teachings of Jesus Christ. They are acting in an inconsistent manner when they engage in troubling behavior. The atheist is consistent with Darwinian thought when he acts in a hostile and belligerent fashion.

Objective Moral Values Require a Living God
Moral arguments for God's existence may be defined as that family of arguments in the history of western philosophical theology having claims about the character of moral thought and experience in their premises and affirmations of the existence of God in their conclusions. Some of these arguments are on all fours with other theistic arguments, such as the design argument. They cite facts that are claimed to be evident to human experience. And they argue that such facts entail or are best explained by the hypothesis that there is a God... Other moral proofs of God's existence take us away from the patterns of argument typical of natural theology. They deal in our ends and motives. These variants on the moral argument for God's existence describe some end that the moral life commits us to (such as the attainment of the perfect good) and contend that this end cannot be attained unless God as traditionally defined exists (Stanford Encyclopedia of Philosophy).

We hope to wake up people to the double standard. Keith Olbermann can have a position, and even say it on the air, and he’s OK, but I don’t have a right to biblical beliefs. What we can’t have in this country is a point where a corporation feels empowered to punish those who have a biblical belief. That’s the chilling effect of this moment in my life (sportscaster Craig James after Fox Sports fired him for holding biblical beliefs).
Our means of discerning what is good and right is found in the Bible. It is our authority and guide. Mankind is not the standard. Science cannot be the standard. The Bible alone provides a standard based on an all-knowing and unchanging God. The standard must be based on an unchanging source, otherwise ethics could change. If moral standards were changeable, this would mean that theft and murder may be considered bad on one day and good the next. This is manifestly wrong and is one more reason we must follow God’s word.

The Death and Resurrection of Christ

No amount of belief makes something a fact (James Randi).

Today, I would say the claim concerning the resurrection is more impressive than any by the religious competition (former atheist Anthony Flew).

It’s worth noting that the apostles saw the risen Christ, touched the risen Christ, and died tortuous deaths while proclaiming the truth of the resurrection. They did this when all they had to do was deny it to avoid persecution and death. Sure, many people die for lies, but no collective, diverse group of people die for a lie when they have sure knowledge that it is a lie. Furthermore, all known ancient documents that refer to the subject report an empty tomb. Even though the manner in which one accepts or rejects the evidence is controlled by one’s presuppositions, the facts are mighty. The evidence is there and it is impressive.

Evidence is Delightful

The Christian worldview alone offers a confirmed resurrection of a Savior to demonstrate its authority. The Greek deities and other pseudo-resurrected gods were not historical figures. The only documents we have concerning the false gods/myths are the specific documents dated hundreds of years after Christianity arose.

Evidence is indeed wonderful. The Christian faith has an abundance of evidence to support its claims. In truth, there is nothing but evidence for the God of the Bible. Every star and every atom declares the majesty of God (Psalm 19:1).

We see evidence of God’s fingerprints in every known corner of the universe. Mankind discovers the proof and affirms many of the facts that the Bible records and announces. The greatest miracle is the resurrection of Jesus. The Lord Jesus is alive! He is the only religious leader to rise from the dead. He is the only one who promised a resurrection and duly kept His promise. You can visit the tombs of all the deceased religious leaders and find their remains still in the grave. However, Jesus is alive because God is not dead.

All Religious Originators Died and Remained Dead

"The Prophet died on Monday and was buried on the night of Wednesday. The Holy Prophet departed from this world on the 28th of Safar" (Ikn Ishaq).
Like all mere men, Mohammad died, was buried, and stayed dead. Dovtastic shares his visit to Mohammad’s grave on YouTube: “During my trip this year on Hajj I had the great honor to visit our Prophet Mohammed’s … grave in the Ottoman front portion of the Masjid Al Nabawi. This beautiful masjid holds one million people in Medina and when the grave is open for visitation, 1000s of people are passing through every minute.” This man and millions of others have seen the occupied grave of Islam’s founder, proving that Mohammad simply remained dead.

You can visit the graves of leaders like Mary Baker Eddy, Joseph Smith, and Buddha from your home computer by watching a video of their gravesite on YouTube. They and all the others died and remained dead; their occupied tombs attest to it. Jesus, however, is alive. His grave is empty. When people visit His grave it’s vacant.

Jesus said, “All power on earth and heaven has been given to me” (Matthew 28:18). No force could have kept Him down. The Romans killed Him, put Him in a cave tomb, and placed huge boulder at a downward angle in front of the cave. Additionally, the state attached Caesar’s seal on the crypt, and posted Roman guards to protect the tomb. They were only trying to prevent the inevitable. Jesus had the power to rise and nobody could stop Him.

God used Christ’s resurrection and His appearances before His disciples to win many of Christ’s enemies to salvation. The Bible tells us that “the word of God spread, and the number of the disciples multiplied greatly in Jerusalem; and a great many of the priests were obedient to the faith” (Acts 6:7). Scripture also records that some Pharisees converted to Christianity (Acts 15:5). It’s clear, God is not dead, He’s the living God.

The Bible is the Word of God
Often skeptics argue that the Bible was written many years after the events it records, thus it was corrupted over time. Abrasive atheist Sam Harris notified the world that “the gospels are ancient fiction.” But papyrus expert Peter Thiede has demonstrated that a copy of the Gospel of Luke, housed in a French museum, is dated approximately 50 AD.[2] Thiede has also determined that the Magdalyn Manuscript of the Book of Matthew is dated circa 40-50 AD. And finally, Thiede has dated a copy of the Gospel written by Mark to be from about 50 AD.[3]
The age of the gospels demonstrates that there was not enough time between the events and their transcription for the Bible to be tainted or altered in the manner the critics allege. Ramm acknowledged, “Divine inspiration of the Bible is the only adequate hypothesis to account for the Bible.”[4]
Predictions Fulfilled: Declaring the Things to Come

Let them bring forth and show us what will happen; let them show the former things, what they were… Or declare to us things to come. Show the things that are to come hereafter… Thus says the LORD … I am the First and I am the Last; besides Me, there is no God. And who can proclaim as I do? … I have declared the former things from the beginning; … Suddenly I did them, and they came to pass... Even from the beginning I have declared it to you; before it came to pass I proclaimed it to you... (Isaiah 41:22-23, 44:6-8, 48:3-20).

Another segment of “proof” for Christianity is the messianic prophecies that were fulfilled by Jesus Christ. The Old Testament foretold the coming of the Messiah in precise detail. The text was written centuries before the coming of Jesus and predicted more than three hundred prophecies about Him. No other founder of any religion can provide a similar prophetic record of their life written down centuries before their birth. Joseph Smith, Ellen G. White, David Berg, Mohammad, and Buddha did not supply a widely transmitted, pre-existing written record that accurately predicted the specific details of their lives.

But Saul increased all the more in strength, and confounded the Jews who dwelt in Damascus, proving that this Jesus is the Christ (Acts 9:22; italics mine).

The three hundred clear prophecies of the coming Messiah were predicted and predestined by God (Acts 2:23). The Bible foretold events and historical details about the coming of Jesus prior to His birth. All these predictions came true in the birth, life, death, and resurrection of Jesus of Nazareth. No other spiritual leader or prophet had predictive material written about their lives recorded before they were born. Jesus Christ had more than three hundred predictions about His life that were fulfilled in exact detail. An agent on The X-Files once said: “The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” And only one with extreme power (God’s omnipotence qualifies) to perfectly arrange history could create a future where one man could fulfill hundreds of predictions—most of which were out of a normal man’s control to arrange.

Then He (Jesus) said to them, “These are the words which I spoke to you while I was still with you, that all things must be fulfilled which were written in the Law of Moses and the Prophets and the Psalms concerning Me” (Luke 24:44).

Christ’s virgin birth was predicted about seven hundred years before He was born in Isaiah chapter seven verse fourteen: “So the Lord Himself shall give you a sign. Behold, the virgin will conceive and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call His name Emmanuel.” His place of birth was recorded in Micah 5:2, hundreds of years prior to the event: “And you, Bethlehem ... out of you He shall come forth to Me, to become Ruler in Israel, He whose goings forth have been ... from eternity.” The exact date of His entry in Jerusalem was predicted by Daniel in chapter nine. God prophesied the Palm Sunday event recorded in Zechariah 9:9, “Rejoice greatly … O daughter of Jerusalem! Behold, your King is coming to you; He is just and having salvation, lowly and riding on a donkey, a colt, the foal of a donkey.”

Christ’s death on the cross was foretold before that form of execution had even been invented by Persia. Psalm 22:1-16 announces the crucifixion hundreds of years before it happened: “My God, my God, why have You forsaken me... But I am a worm, and no man; a reproach of men, and despised by the people. All who see me laugh me to scorn; they shoot out the lip; they shake the head, saying, He trusted on the LORD; let Him deliver him; let Him rescue him, since He delights in him! I am poured out like water, and all my bones are spread apart; my heart is like wax; it is melted in the midst of my bowels and You have brought me into the dust of death. For dogs have circled around me; the band of spoilers have hemmed me in, they have pierced my hands and my feet.”

Data is mute; one needs a theoretical framework to make sense of anything (chemist Roald Hoffman).

This evidence for Christian theism is overwhelming. Nevertheless, the truth is even more certain and compelling than compiling great blocks of evidence to prove the reality of Christianity. The argument for Christian theism is assured. Without God, one cannot provide the necessary truth conditions for knowledge—including knowledge derived from evidence and its analysis.
debate craig boghossian
 For more see my new book A Manual for Converting Atheists HERE


1.        John Piper, The Passion of Jesus Christ.
2.        Thiede, Rekindling the Word.
3.        Thiede, Eyewtinesses of Jesus.
4.        Bernard Ramm, Protestant Christian Evidences.
5.   One cannot have evidence or the analysis of evidence without God. The God of the Bible is the precondition for the examination of evidence. Analysis uses induction, empirical testing, the laws of logic, and morality. One cannot account for any of those dynamics without God and His revelation. In a moment of honesty, renowned philosopher W.V. Quine, granted: “The collapse of empiricism (truth is found through man’s senses) would admit extra input ... by revelation.” Considering that empiricism is self-refuting (one cannot measure by seeing or hearing the definition of empiricism, so it collapses under its own load) it must concede truth claims to revelation by God and the general application of its precepts. Rational pre-commitments assist in directing one’s investigation and analysis of the data (as well as its interpretation and communication). This admission is often difficult to get from some atheistic inquirers to acknowledge. What worldview can furnish the a priori necessities and rational tools for analysis and research? Christian theism can deliver the epistemic ground for the a priori immutable universals utilized in rational enquiry; in principle, materialistic atheism cannot furnish the aforementioned ground. What is obligatory to account for analysis is a first principle that has the ontological endowment to not only ground it, but to account for it and its preconditions—all the universal operational features of knowledge. The loss of the immovable point of reference, in principle, leaves the ungodly bereft of a resource necessary to construct the analytical enterprise. Without God, one cannot hoist the necessary a priori operation features of the intellectual examination of evidence. The Christian worldview supplies the fixed ontic platform as the sufficient truth condition that can justify induction, immutable universals, attributes, identity, and the uniformity of the physical world. But materialistic atheism lacks such a fixed ontic platform. Consequently, it fails to provide the sufficient ground required to justify enquiry and research. When anyone attempts to escape the truth that God exists, he falls in a trap he cannot escape. This point is well made in Van Til’s illustration of a man made of water, who is trying to climb out of the watery ocean by means of a ladder made of water. He cannot get out of the water for he has nothing to stand on. Without God, one cannot make sense of anything. The atheist has nothing to stand on (an ontic Archimedean locus of reference) and he lacks a rational apparatus to scale an epistemic ladder that would allow him to view reality with clarity. God and His revealed word supply men their only possible ground with the explanatory clout needed to account for critical and analytical pursuits. The ontological barrenness of atheistic materialism is just one reason the Christian should never grant the natural man the right to determine the criteria for testing truth claims—atheistic naturalism lacks an ontology with a shard of explanatory power. Christianity rests upon God and His Revelation as the ontic Archimedean locus of reference for science. 



Sunday, December 21, 2014

Alone Again-Naturally...but God, It's Christmas

There are so many things to consider at Christmas. Did we buy all the gifts that needed to be wrapped and those sent on time? Is the house ready to receive company? Have we got everything we need for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day dinner? What should we wear to church on Christmas Eve? Should we go out to dinner after church or just go home and have an intimate family many things to consider! 

What if there is no we? Or worse what if there is no we and no money to have Christmas? You hope that never happens to you but it does happen to so many...and do we give it a second thought? It doesn't take too much to end up alone or even penniless. A tragedy here and there, age, loss of loved ones by death or just separation and family differences, time is not always kind. Our lives don't always go as we expect!

I can remember helping others at Christmas that were less fortunate than me. I also remember not helping at times because I just didn't feel up to it. I heard a song on the radio in my car today called Alone Again Naturally by Gilbert O'Sullivan. I heard that song many times but I don't even think I ever sung it to myself because I thought it was pretty stupid song. I have been alone before but I was young and knew that wouldn't last. Besides I had so many friends that I always had things to do with. What if you out-live your friends? What if differences crop up that separate you from those you love and care about? What then? Being alone at Christmas time is a pretty insurmountable concern.

Sometimes it's not an individual but a family that is alone and friendless. One particular family comes to mind:

This is how the birth of Jesus Christ came about: His mother Mary was pledged to be married to Joseph, but before they came together, she was found to be with child through the Holy Spirit. Because Joseph her husband was a righteous man and did not want to expose her to public disgrace, he had in mind to divorce her quietly.

But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream and said, 'Joseph son of David, do not be afraid to take Mary home as your wife, because what is conceived in her is from the Holy Spirit. She will give birth to a son, and you are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins.'

All this took place to fulfil what the Lord had said through the prophet: 'The virgin will be with child and will give birth to a son, and they will call him Immanuel' - which means, 'God with us.'

When Joseph woke up, he did what the angel of the Lord had commanded him and took Mary home as his wife. But he had no union with her until she gave birth to a son. And he gave him the name Jesus.

Matthew 1:18-25

In those days Caesar Augustus issued a decree that a census should be taken of the entire Roman world. (This was the first census that took place while Quirinius was governor of Syria.) And everyone went to his own town to register.

So Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee to Judea, to Bethlehem the town of David, because he belonged to the house and line of David. He went there to register with Mary, who was pledged to be married to him and was expecting a child. While they were there, the time came for the baby to be born, and she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.

Luke 2:1-7

Alone, friendless, having a child in a smelly stable, unsure of their future that night...but God saw to it that the loneliness of that night was to be very different than the way it appeared at the time:

And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, 'Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people. Today in the town of David a Saviour has been born to you; he is Christ the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.'

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom his favour rests.'

When the angels had left them and gone into heaven, the shepherds said to one another, 'Let's go to Bethlehem and see this thing that has happened, which the Lord has told us about.'

So they hurried off and found Mary and Joseph, and the baby, who was lying in the manger. When they had seen him, they spread the word concerning what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. But Mary treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart. The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had heard and seen, which were just as they had been told.

Luke 2:8-20

Who knows when the actual event took place, shepherds where in the hills so it could have been fall, spring or summer, but it doesn't matter! It is a story of the greatest magnitude because one man, a child of the Heavenly King, born of a woman would change the earth's events forever. Men have tried to minimize the story and the significance of the birth of Jesus. They have tried to wipe God's Word off the face the map, burn every Bible in their kingdoms, torture and kill believers, cause controversies unlimited in the amount of anger exchanged-it goes on today-just mention Jesus and watch the storm appear! New scientific calendars have been proposed and created that would eliminate all mention of the words Ano Domini,  But the one lonely birth, so seemingly insignificant has changed the lives of so many because Jesus was on a mission to do the will of the Father...his heavenly Father.

Alone? Friendless? Unsure of your future? Let Jesus have Christmas dinner with you! He doesn't care if it's a can of Spam...

20 Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears My voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and dine with him, and he with Me. 21 To him who overcomes I will grant to sit with Me on My throne, as I also overcame and sat down with My Father on His throne. Revelation 3:20-21

A very blessed Christmas to all but to the lonely especially! 

See you next blog,

Tuesday, December 16, 2014


last week I got a series of messages from a woman in Indiana who reads my posts regularly. She said that the Holiday Season is the worst time of all for her. She is normally the "go-to girl" for gifts for the family, but she is on a strict budget and if she goes over budget usually a tirade of her incompetence follows...unless she is willing to trade his anger for sex-his way! If she says no, the kids will suffer because he will not want to do family things because he is unhappy. He will give her the silent treatment or make embarrassing innuendo at family functions over the holidays. Even if she gives in to the sex it will never be enough, he will only want more in various ways to soothe his angst. 

"Ted there is no way to win. I have grown to despise him every time he uses me this way, but what choice do I have if I want the family to enjoy Christmas? I am in a dark pit trying to act like I am happy. I am dying to tell someone that I need help. Friends and family cannot imagine how terrible it is to be RAPED continually by the man who is supposed to love you, not use and abuse you. I wonder how many other women have gone through this...worse I have grown to HATE CHRISTMAS!"

I have pondered at length the advice I would offer. I choose the Christian perspective of getting help from a good Christian counselor that does not hold to giving in or turning the other cheek...neither method will solve the problem. 
  • She should LEAVE and then get help! 
  • She should inform her mate that unless he gets help this will be permanent
  • She should stay completely away from her mate until she has help to meet with him to ensure no violence occurs-as it usually does!
  • She should inform the pastor of his actions and explain why they are not coming as a family at present
  • She should not even consider going back until she and her counselor have met with the husband and both agree he is taking the right path toward making the wrongs RIGHT! (Be prepared for this to NEVER occur in the case of dealing with a NARCISSIST-THEY CAN RARELY BE HELPED)

This is not a new problem in today's pornographic internet world!

The following is an excerpt taken from Out Of The Fog Personality Disorders :

Your abusive partner IS USING SEX TO CONTROL YOU

Do you feel you can’t say no to intimacy with your partner? Do you have little say on what happens between the sheets? Does he (or she) coerce you to do things that make you uncomfortable? Then you could be in an abusive relationship with someone for whom sex is a weapon. Here are THREE ways in which abusive individuals use sex as a tool to establish and maintain control over their partner – and why it works.

“You’re lying there like a dead body”

"My ex wanted sex up to four times a day, and a refusal could trigger the silent treatment, a prolonged guilt-trip, or a tirade meltdown that lasted all day or night, heck all week. I had sex with him many, many times when I didn’t want to. The lowest point came when he spent several days straight getting high on cannabis, lolling around the house, refusing to go out because he was in the grip of paranoid delusion."
"Our child was still just weeks old. With a colicky new baby to care for single-handedly, I was more sleep-deprived and exhausted than I had ever been in my life. So when my man began demanding sex yet again, I just wanted to cry. The last thing I wanted was to get naked. He cajoled me for two hours. He told me he wouldn’t let me sleep until I gave him what he wanted. I knew he meant it. So I put the baby in his crib, stripped, and lay down on the floor as expected."
“You’re lying there like a dead body,” said my man, successfully ignoring the tears spilling from my eyes. He usually insisted I show sufficient enthusiasm during sex. He wasn’t wrong in comparing me to a corpse. I felt like I was dead.
"Since making my great escape from domestic abuse, I’ve often reflected on how I felt that day. I’ve never told anyone the story, because it made me feel ashamed. But, more than a year into my post-abuse recovery, I’ve finally got a handle on how and why sex is a weapon of control in abusive relationships."
You don’t get to choose when or how often you are intimate with your partner
If you refuse sex, he may accuse you of being ‘frigid’ or not loving him enough. He may take this as proof that you are being unfaithful, triggering an abusive episode fueled by paranoia. He sees refusal to have sex as you rejecting him or defying him – both of which are like a metaphorical body-blow to his already fragile ego.
There is always a consequence when you refuse. He may berate, blackmail, threaten or hurt you. He may rape you, or wait until you fall asleep before beginning to have sex with you. Before long, you find yourself never saying no to him, figuring it is easier (and less painful) to go along with his wishes.
Your partner withholds love as punishment for perceived misdemeanors. You feel unloved and unwanted, your self-esteem plummets. He calls you a slut, and tells you that your hormone level is low so just give him what he wants because you want him to be happy.  He may make ‘jokes’ to his friends that you are selfish and frigid, or suggest that you see a therapist-which he won't pay for and will accuse of being weak minded(both examples of gas-lighting) You experience guilt, shame, and lose the confidence to leave him in search of a healthier relationship. They literally hate being exposed and will make you uncomfortable in that exposure.

You have little or no say in how you have sex

You long for closeness, and physical intimacy that is an expression of love. Yet being intimate with your partner is like starring in a porn movie, with him (or her) as the director. He calls the shots, you move into the required position. There is little joy and pleasure for you.
This is especially common amongst sociopathic/psychopathic and narcissistic abusers, who often also have a penchant for risk-taking. High-risk sexual behaviors could include sexual infidelity, extreme sex games, and other things that put you at risk.
He uses sex to belittle or degrade you. He may insult you, make fun of your body or tell you that you are the worst sexual partner he has ever had if you don't do exactly what he wants. In some cases of Narcissist behavior he just pouts or refuses to do anything with you until you give in. He pushes you to do things that you are uncomfortable with, and then later reminds you how much you wanted it before why not now? You feel ashamed. He may threaten that if you try to leave, he’ll publicize intimate snaps or sexual footage of you-most do it anyway.

Sex is about your partner’s needs, never your own

He may be a selfish lover, refusing to allow you to orgasm until he has his first or acknowledge pleasure. Usually they will degrade you by performing pornographic acts on you. Or, he makes any steamy session feel more like a feat of endurance, as he repeats moves rehearsed from and shows off his sexual prowess. He’s too caught up in how amazing he is to check whether it’s working for you or not. You feel like a piece of meat. That’s exactly what he wants.
Why does he do this?
Perpetrators of domestic abuse are deeply insecure and weak. Nothing and nobody can fill the void in their soul, but they lack the self-awareness to acknowledge this. Instead, they focus their energy on controlling their significant other. They try to make themselves feel more powerful by degrading another. More than anything in the world, they need a weapon which they can effectively use to establish and retain control over you.
Many demand and withhold sex – often without apparent rhyme or reason – deliberately to destabilize you. Through sexual control, he makes you dependent upon him for physical (and perhaps in your head, emotional) intimacy, which may be doled out for good behavior or refused when he says you’ve stepped out of line. By shifting the goalposts on a whim, they make sure you never know what is the ‘right’ thing to do. Other than, of course, whatever he wants, whenever he wants it.
Abusers treat you as a sex object because that is how they see you. They have needs and you do not. You are there only to fulfill their needs. They are essentially masturbating, rather than nurturing a healthy sexual partnership. They will put you at physical and emotional risk, and use this later to shame and erode your confidence so you are less likely to hit the exit.
He threatens you with so-called revenge porn, hoping that the fear of humiliation will keep you tethered to him for as long as he wants you. This is a form of emotional blackmail. Some perpetrators actually go ahead with this violation, although it is now a criminal offence in many countries.

What can you do about it?

Women in particular are surrounded by cultural contradictions around sex. We consume magazines such as Cosmopolitan, which talk empowerment at the same time as they cram us with advice on how to give the world’s best blow jobs. We criticize the bodies of women pop stars at the same time as aspiring to impossible images of physical perfection.Few of us are really comfortable talking about sex especially when it is used to hurt or control us. That’s one of the primary reasons that sexual offences such as marital rape are so hugely under-reported.
The debate around violence against women rarely moves beyond victim-blaming, and the 50 Shades series is amongst the bestselling franchises of our time. You are told women are empowered, sexually liberated, but the ‘ideal’ woman is expected to be perfect, virtuous, submissive, even chaste. The ideal woman wants to please her man more than anything in this world so he tells you. 
With all of its social taboos, sex is an ideal weapon for most perpetrators of domestic abuse. By understanding this, you can:
  • Recognize the early signs of sexual control and over-active sex
  • Realize that you are not to blame – your abuser is
  • Refuse to be shamed into silence and acceptance.
  • Get counselling immediately for you first then him
  • Consider leaving your mentally ill partner for a better relationship-you have nothing to lose and everything to gain as a whole woman
Sexual control is not normal, and it is not okay. You don’t have to accept it. You do have to accept that you can’t change it, because you can’t change him. Find out more about escaping domestic abuse and open the door to a healthier, happier future.
See you next blog,

Friday, December 5, 2014

Satan, Your Enemy, Will Always Find Someone To Call You A Loser!

LOSER! You are nothing but a loser! Have you ever heard someone call you that? Did you believe it?
Or how about this phrase: You know, because you do this, you are not much of a Christian. You call yourself a Christian but I don't see it when you do this...

Usually that person hates themselves, what they are inside under the veneer they portray to those around them. They bully to make themselves feel better, superior. They will lie, cheat, hate, and do all within their power to make others miserable, all the while knowing what they really are and hiding under a veneer of a NICE GUY! They will lie to you, about you all the while appearing as a friend, a mate, a relative, you name it. They live what they think are secret lives. They might convince others to believe them, but only for a while because they are miserable individuals with miserable lives and it will show through eventually. Romans 12:19 says:Never take your own revenge, beloved, but leave room for the wrath of God, for it is written, "VENGEANCE IS MINE, I WILL REPAY," says the Lord.

Child of God, you belong to the ONE TRUE KING! You may lose a battle and have some regrets in your life, but that does not define who you are. In Christ, you have been changed and set free. The Holy Spirit has sealed you until the day of Redemption...PERIOD(Ephesians 4:30) You are no longer condemned for your past, your present, your future. 

Romans 8:34-39 says: 
34 who is the one who condemns? Christ Jesus is He who died, yes, rather who was [a]raised, who is at the right hand of God, who also intercedes for us. 
35 Who will separate us from the love of [b]Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword? 
36 Just as it is written, “For Your sake we are being put to death all day long;
We were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us. 
38 For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, 
39 nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord. 

If you meant the prayer of repentance and acceptance of Jesus Christ as your Savior YOU ARE SET FREE! Once you understand what an AMAZING GRACE you have received because of God the Father's sacrificial Lamb once of all, you will desire HIM above all things this earth has to offer...does it mean you will never sin again? No, we are human and frail in some of our abilities to withstand the world, the flesh, and the devil, but we will constantly strive toward the mark, for perfection in Christ...because He is perfection! We have been made perfect in Him. We will bear fruit in our lives that others can see who we serve. When I mess up and the enemy accuses me, my Lord reminds Satan of who I am in Him...positioned as righteous. 
In 2 Corinthians 5:21 the Bible says, “He made Him who knew no sin to be sin on our behalf, so that we might become the righteousness of God in Him.” This verse is talking about how Jesus became sin (on the cross) so that we can now be righteous. Is Jesus positionally righteous? No, He is literally righteous. We have the righteousness that Jesus has, so if Jesus is literally righteous, so are we. This is letting the Bible interpret the Bible. This is one beautiful exchange that took place at Calvary.

If we look to our actions to see if we are right with God, we will become disappointed. We will think things like, “we aren’t literally righteous. That is just the way God sees us. Our position is one of righteousness, but our condition is that we are unrighteous.” The truth is that it is not just something that only God sees. In other words our standing with God is very literal. When we get to heaven, we need to have right standing with God to stand before him. Because we have this, we have fellowship with him. God wants you to rest your head peacefully tonight knowing you are safe in His arms. Righteousness is not about our good works or some figurative imagination, it is real.
So, who is this Satan? Why does he fool so many?

Whether you have become a Christian or not, you have a powerful enemy you have never seen. His name is Satan, otherwise known as the devil. You don't believe he's real? That doesn't change a thing, and only makes his job easier. When people think he's only a cute little cartoon character with horns and a pointed tail, they certainly aren't going to be on their guard against him.

Who is he, and where did he come from? He is a fallen angel, who was cast out of Heaven. And he is not alone.

And there was war in heaven, Michael and his angels waging war with the dragon. The dragon and his angels waged war, and they were not strong enough, and there was no longer a place found for them in heaven. And the great dragon was thrown down, the serpent of old who is called the devil and Satan, who deceives the whole world; he was thrown down to the earth, and his angels were thrown down with him. (Revelations 12:7-9)

He and his fellow satanic spirits are your enemies because they are determined to keep you out of the place they will never return to. Satan will work every angle he possibly can to accomplish this task. If you are not a Christian, he will attempt to keep you from becoming one. And if you are a Christian, he will do everything in his power to turn you away from following Christ.

Be of sober spirit, be on the alert. Your adversary, the devil, prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. (1 Peter 5:8)

He is a formidable foe. He has had thousands of years of experience deceiving human beings, and you are no match for him. For those who are not under the protection of God as His children, we can offer you no advice as to how you can be safe from his damaging influence except to become born-again believers. For believers, we offer the following as a help in dealing with your spiritual adversary.

First of all, it always helps to know your enemy and his traits.

He is not human, but he often uses humans to carry out his deeds.
For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the powers, against the world forces of this darkness, against the spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavenly places. (Ephesians 6:12)

Part of the challenge of being a successful Christian is learning to live on the spiritual plane when you've been so used to living for the most part only on the physical plane. You must become skilled at defeating the incursions of demonic spirits on the plane they exist upon through the power of God within you.

He is not omniscient, omnipresent, or omnipotent
In a word, he is not God. While he is indeed intensely powerful and the very fount of evil influence in this world, don't ascribe to him more power than he actually has.

He can appear to be something he is not
No wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light. (2 Corinthians 11:14)

He may come to you in the form of a proponent of Christianity, a friend of God. You must learn to discern between his spirit and the Spirit of the Lord by leaning on the latter to guide you and give you understanding.

He will attempt to twist God's words
And he said to the woman, "Indeed, has God said, 'You shall not eat from any tree of the garden'? You surely will not die! For God knows that in the day you eat from it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil." (Genesis 3:1,4-5)

He will attempt to deceive with words even the words of the Bible, and attempt to make them mean something altogether different than God intended. Again, discernment between God's Spirit and the spirit of Satan is critical.

He is a liar
...for he is a liar and the father of lies. (John 8:44)

Knowing the Bible and heeding the warnings of the Spirit of God are our weapons against his chicanery.

Once knowing your foe, you are in a better position to defeat him. The key thing
to remember is this: Let God deal with him. 
As I stated before, you cannot overcome him with your own strength and wisdom. When he knocks on your door to attack you, discourage you, tempt you, or whatever, don't answer it. Let the Lord meet him and conquer him.

Many believers get into trouble by failing to heed this simple advice. They will instead invite Satan in, offer him a seat on the couch, and begin to converse with him. Bad idea. Don't give him the time of day. Ignore him. The Bible tells us, "Resist the devil and he will flee from you" (James 4:7). It works. Be consistent in your refusal to be drawn into conversation with him.

And here's something more that mature Christians use that really annoys him: Laugh at his tactics once you perceive them. Thomas Moore of the sixteenth century wrote, "The Devil, the proud spirit, cannot endure to be mocked." He wants to be worshipped and feared, so when we afford him no respect and let him know he is a loser destined for Hell, he leaves in anger. New believers should avoid this tactic as he is more likely to launch a fearsome attack on those who have offended his dignity, but who are not yet skilled at spiritual warfare. You will learn as you live in Christ and study your Bible how to conduct spiritual warfare as outlined in Ephesians 6:10-20.

So how can you know whether it's Satan or God speaking to you? This isn't easy for new believers. All kinds of thoughts can be swirling around in their minds, and they often have difficulty discerning who is speaking to them. But you can learn whose voice is whose, and it's critical that you do.

Satan tends to harangue(tirade). He is loud. He is grating. He often repeats his insinuations and poisonous suggestions and demands over and over and over. His voice is often that of the individual that I mentioned at the top of this post.
You feel a sense of unease when he is talking to you. And if you stop and really consider what he is urging you to think or do, you will see that it isn't leading toward God and holiness. He will come up with a thousand angles as to why you shouldn't obey God, and isn't above contradicting himself in hopes of finally getting you to bite down on his poison pill.

God speaks with a singular, quiet voice. He doesn't repeat Himself until time has passed and you have yet to heed Him. Even then, He will never enter into a tirade. He always speaks in agreement with the Bible, never against it. His words lead you toward light and good. His words either from the word of God or from his children build up, rather than tear down. And you will sense His presence when He is speaking.

All this takes time to learn. You will make mistakes. But don't despair, just keep pressing on, always calling on God for wisdom to better meet Satan's challenges in the future. Our wounds are not meant for defeat but to learn of GOD's AWESOME POWER. Be always mindful that, "greater is He who is in you than he who is in the world" (1 John 4:4). Keep your hand in Christ's, and no one that rises against you will ever prevail.

Here is a song by Matthew West to help you remember who you are:
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See you next blog,

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