Showing posts from July, 2012

Top Misguided Reasons To Stay In An Abusive Marriage

“If you don’t like where you are in life, there comes a point when you must give up the part of you that’s keeping you back.”
–Dr. Sonya Friedman

Divorce is difficult. So many emotionally hurt people are involved. This is one of the reasons why couples all over the world choose to stay in unhealthy and even terribly abusive marriages, despite all the signs indicating they are being abused and an inner voice urging them to leave. Rather than heed all the indicators of abuse and this internal guidance, people seek out or invent reasons to justify remaining. They allow themselves to become co-dependent to the point of excusing the abuser over and over and even blaming themselves. All they are actually doing is creating a prison without walls to incarcerate themselves and their children in. They allow their children to grow up believing this is how relationships should be!

Many float through life in a perpetual state of confusion or …

REAL LEADERSHIP By The Proper Use of Autonomy, Mastery, and Purpose

Using Autonomy, mastery, and purpose to motivate people will accomplish much more than the use of fear, greed, or guilt. Not too long ago I was asked to give a motivational speech to a group of men at my church to motivate them to give of their time and talent to increase our impact in the community for Christ.

I had worked my way up in an International Corp called Automatic Data Processing from 1978 to 1996 and enjoyed great success at my various positions in the company.  I hated the so-called motivational speakers that used the negative to try to motivate people to perform and spoke to one of department heads about putting together a motivational platform from which to project our intent to our client base. Well, I wish I could say that out of that conversation came great revelations of how to bypass Management Speak, but a committee had been formed and needless to say not much came of it. A few good things occurred in that we all agreed that motivation by fear, greed, guil…

When Is Enough, Enough In A Relationship?

How do you know when you have had enough? There are many women and men who are in unhealthy relationships, and they are not aware of it. Or they have become aware and are afraid the change will be too drastic for the family to handle! What is an unhealthy relationship? Are you in an unhealthy relationship? In most cases, unhealthy relationships start off as any normal relationship. It is not always true though because we can wish a relationship is a certain way and even convince ourselves it is a good deal if we want something bad enough. The guy or girl is amazing to you, you both have plenty in common, and the two of you can talk on the phone for hours (well, in some cases). Everything seems great, right? Then months into the relationship, you begin to notice that he or she is changing and it begins to frighten you a little. What actually happened is that you did not notice the warning signs: overly jealous, quick tempered, egotistical, self-serving and self-indulgent, contro…

What Qualifies As Verbal Abuse?

Today's blog is taken from Probe Ministries and Kerby Anderson. Why am I constantly harping on this you may ask? Simple. There are so many emails from women who are depressed, constantly tired, mentally and emotinally drained, and just plain beaten down. They are made to feel stupid, the target for problems in the family by the spouse, her family and the children-"Mom why don't you just settle down and be a good wife?" They are minimized and told that their physical, emotional, and mental issues are made up in their head..."you will be fine you're just overly sensitive," they are told. They are told that they don't communicate that they just get angry and can't be talked out of it. The worst part is that when the abuser feels threatened he either resorts to violence, or garnering sympathy for his plight from everyone you know, or put on his Mr. Wonderful image to throw everyone off and make you believe you are the problem! To achieve what the ab…