Showing posts from November, 2017

Recognizing Abuse In The Christian Marriage

Like so many pastor/counselors before me I was taught in seminary that marriage counseling was going to be the hardest issue to deal with because it often called for the pastor to remain absolutely neutral or lose one member or both in the church. Often times people they knew would side with one or the other and they also would leave if the pastor made the mistake of taking sides. "Why would taking sides even be necessary?" one professor said aloud. "You weren't there when all their quibbles started so how could even know which side to take?"

Surely, marriage counseling would be the undoing of a church so I was taught to listen attentively and make no recommendations but tell the person to look at themselves as "taking one for the gipper (God)." In other words blame yourself and quit looking at the other person's faults! After all you took vows saying "until death do you part."

Unfortunately there is a side to take when the squabbles in…