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Recognizing Abuse In The Christian Marriage

Like so many pastor/counselors before me I was taught in seminary that marriage counseling was going to be the hardest issue to deal with because it often called for the pastor to remain absolutely neutral or lose one member or both in the church. Often times people they knew would side with one or the other and they also would leave if the pastor made the mistake of taking sides. "Why would taking sides even be necessary?" one professor said aloud. "You weren't there when all their quibbles started so how could even know which side to take?"

Surely, marriage counseling would be the undoing of a church so I was taught to listen attentively and make no recommendations but tell the person to look at themselves as "taking one for the gipper (God)." In other words blame yourself and quit looking at the other person's faults! After all you took vows saying "until death do you part."

Unfortunately there is a side to take when the squabbles in…

A Presidential Blunder Based On A Lack of Knowledge

In talking to people about the Christian Faith, especially Muslim friends, I often hear Barack Obama's words quoted back to me about the crusades. Please understand he is not a theologian or historian but has heard the lies he had repeated to him over and over. This correction by Dr. Ravi Zacharias should help understand where Mr. Obama blundered...
President Barack Obama’s address at the National Prayer Breakfast on February 5, 2015 has reverberated through the corridors of the world and provoked shock and dismay in numerous quarters. Even a professor at the University of London commented on his shallow understanding of the Crusades. I hesitated to write anything on the subject because it would drag me into politics or into a sobering critique of Islam. I am not sure that at a time like this either distraction would be wise, so let me keep it to the minimum. For those who did not hear the talk, it is sufficient to say that it was the most ill-advised and poorly chosen reprimand …

Thriving in Chaos-Navigating Life's Storms

We have heard a lot about “Fake News” lately and to a certain degree most news is fake news. Why would I say that? Because of political and human bias. It used to be that news was simply reporting facts about what occurred but eventually what crept in because of political bias, human bias, and what is called “packaging news” the news became more of a news writers perspective. Can it be trusted...hardly! We are left to read between the lines and yet our own political bias governs how we disseminate that information. What does that have to do with Navigating Through Life’s Storms, one would ask?
When we as Christians view information we need to do it through the lens of God’s word? What has the Bible told us concerning chaos in the world and storm tossed lives. You see, God is very comfortable in the midst of storms because He sees the beginning and the end in every life. He has a plan and it’s up to us to examine His word and decide how to best use it to get through the chaos. His word …

Thriving in Chaos

I was reading an article by Ed Chinn of Focus On The Family. Why? Because the storms of life are raging in my life right now. I don't want to just survive but instead I want to thrive in the middle of the worst of it. There are many things that are my fault in this and a few things that are not. Charles Stanley preached today about Down But Not Out...I needed to hear it.

I started today remembering that God never promised in His Word that we would go through life without trials. Jesus, himself said you will have tribulation in this world! GULP!!! But Lord I wanted the Rose Garden and He said there are thorns in the rose garden but there is also beauty!  I want you to know I am writing this along with Ed Chinn to myself as well. I have not come out the other side of this storm. I just entered the storm a few months back, but I am learning about exercising my faith in God's word. We are all on a journey no less treacherous than explorers in uncharted territory. How well we do de…

3 BIG LIES OF PORN!

 I'd love to say I wrote this...but I didn't! It's a piece by Dr James Dobson and as a former porno junkie I can tell you IT IS RIGHT ON THE MONEY! SO PAY ATTENTION!

"I started to write an apology, but I don't have anything to say I'm sorry for...It was long distance, and either your boyfriend is going to look at porn or he's going to look at you."   
- Jennifer Lawrence (actress)
I will be the first person to admit that men, in general, are wired differently than women when it comes to visual stimuli regarding the opposite sex (yet, recent statistics have shown that this is a problem for women as well). Having been involved in family ministry for over 10 years, I have walked alongside many men struggling with some form of pornography. I can count on one hand the men that I’ve known that truly are not tempted and don’t struggle with the unabashed access we now have to online nudity. In this sense, it is true that most men, and this includes …

Broken Together

I've been accused of being anti-marriage. I've even been told that I am a destroyer of Christian values because I advocate separation or divorce from Narcissists. It's also true I've had failed marriages but I wasn't the only failure in the marriage. However that does not excuse my portion to do all I could to save the marriage. I don't know how much was my portion in every case of failing but it doesn't matter now. The fact is a marriage that we swore an oath to God to protect is now ended. You see, we all carry baggage into our relationships and we tend to view everything about that relationship through the opaqueness of the garbage we carry. We can become almost myopic in the way we view relationships if we allow ourselves the luxury of being a judge of the other. However, being a judge requires us to judge ourselves through God's lens as well so that we are no longer being hypocritical. We have to stand on common ground before anything can ever be r…

Only Jesus Can Give You Spiritual Sight!

The following opening is from Pastor Stephen Cole, pastor of Lake Gregory Community Church, in Crestline, CA. Stephen is a graduate Dallas Theological Seminary-so I already admire his persistence and great sermonizing. A good pastor has a difficult row to hoe. If you are really, a good pastor not everyone in your church is going to like what you have to say! Why? Because even in our churches the spiritually blind abound. This is a long blog so before you start prepare yourself to read the whole blog if you are really interested in having spiritual sight to guide you through life. 

We’ve all heard “good news, bad news” jokes. Here are a couple aimed at me as a pastor (from cybersalt.org):

Good News: The Women’s Guild voted to send you a get-well card.

Bad News: The vote passed 31-30.

Good News: Church attendance rose dramatically the last three weeks.

Bad News: You were on vacation.

Luke 9 gives us good news and bad news, but it’s not a joke. It’s deadly serious! The best possible news is: J…