The Conquering Christ

This is a preaching from a man I admire very much, Ray Pritchard lives what he preaches! Today of all days his sermon is most appropriate. I wish all who read this would give Jesus Lordship of their lives today. Realize that He is the coming King who forgave us all our trespasses. We walk in newness of life every day because of what he did on a hill called Golgotha!

The Conquering Christ
Isaiah 53:10-12

It is Friday in Jerusalem. The smell of death is in the air. Outside the city wall, just north of the Damascus Gate, in a place long reserved for public executions, three crosses stand beside the road.  A crowd has gathered this day. Not that crucifixion was unusual. But this day is different. An unusual man is being crucified.

Up the road comes a group of people. The soldiers know that two of the men being crucified are the kind of criminals that you find in any big city anywhere in the world. That's no big deal.

But the third man, the one from up north, the preacher from Nazareth, his case is different. They don’t really know who he is. They know it's important because they sense the buzz in the crowd. Today there were more people than usual, a bigger crowd, noisier, rowdier, milling to and fro, waiting for the action to begin.

Up the road comes a parade of people led by a brawny foreigner carrying a cross. He couldn't be the one they were going to crucify. It turns out he was a man by the name of Simon—Simon of Cyrene. The crowd swirls around him and behind him is a stooped figure, a man not quite six feet tall. Now walking, now crawling, each step an agony to behold. He had been beaten within an inch of his life. His back was in shreds, his front was covered with the markings of the whip. His face was disfigured and swollen where they had ripped out the beard by the roots. And on his head a crown of thorns six inches long stuck under the skin. A shell of a man. A man already more dead than alive.

The soldiers laid the cross out on the ground and they laid the body of Jesus on the cross. As they adjusted his arms and legs, he let out a moan.  But he did not resist them.

They did their work quickly.

One hand over here, one hand over there. Wrapping rope around this arm and around that arm. Rope around the legs, probably bent and partially resting on a small platform. They drove the spike on the forearm side of the wrist so that when the weight of the cross fell, the spike wouldn't rip all the way through the hand. A spike in each wrist and then a spike through the legs. With the ropes in place they began to pull the cross up.  Blood spurts from the raw wounds. At the right moment, they let go and the cross fell with a thud. And there was Jesus, exposed before the world, beaten, bruised and bloody. The soldiers stood back, satisfied. A job well done.

"Get the dice,” someone said.  “Let's roll dice for his clothes."

The Good Friday Question

Few things in life are more difficult than the sudden death of someone we love. The mind wrestles with so many unanswerable questions, chief among them why. Why did things happen the way they did and when they did? Why should a young man just starting out have his life so quickly cut short?

This is the great question of Good Friday.

Why did Jesus die?
Who is behind this travesty of justice?
How could such a good man have come to such a bad end?

It happens that I am writing these words on Good Friday. In the history of the church, this day has also been called Holy Friday or Black Friday or Long Friday, all in remembrance of what Jesus suffered on the cross. I just finished reading an article on why this particular day is called “Good” Friday. It does seem odd because to the casual observer there was nothing “good” about what happened to Jesus when he was crucified.

Beaten.
Skin in tatters.
Spit upon.
Mocked.
Scourged.
Insulted.
Nails driven through his hands and feet.
Surrounded by a howling mob.
Dying between two thieves.

What’s good about that?
We come again to the question, who did this? And why?
What purpose could be served in crucifying Jesus of Nazareth?

When Isaiah comes to the end of his Fourth Servant Song, he devotes the last stanza (53:10-12) to a consideration of what the death of the Servant really means. In these three verses we have God’s answer to the question, “Why did Jesus die?” Each verse gives us one part of the answer.

Since Isaiah wrote 700 years before Calvary, he put his words in in the future tense. We will do the same thing as we consider these verses.

I. He Will Be Crushed

“Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer,
    and though the Lord makes his life an offering for sin,
he will see his offspring and prolong his days,
    and the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand” (v. 10).

Who is ultimately responsible for the death of Jesus Christ? The answer may surprise you. According to the Bible, God takes responsibility for the death of his Son. “Yet it was the Lord’s will to crush him and cause him to suffer.” The New King James gives that phrase a slightly different feel: “Yet it pleased the LORD to bruise Him; He has put Him to grief.” Both versions say the same thing, but the NKJV emphasizes that it pleased the Lord to “crush” his only Son. As a father of three sons, I cannot fathom that, have no category for it, cannot imagine willingly putting one of my sons to death, much less taking pleasure in it. But the truth stands and cannot be denied: Jesus died because his Father willed that he should die. The terrible suffering our Lord endured did not happen by chance nor did it happen solely because the Jewish leaders wanted it and Pilate cravenly caved in. Behind the evil deeds of evil men stands the Lord God Almighty. He and he alone sent Jesus to the cross. Until you understand that fact, the true meaning of the death of Christ will be lost to you.

God willed that his own Son be crushed.
God planned that his own Son should suffer grief.
God desired that his own Son be made an offering for sin.

Isaiah goes on to talk about the great results that will flow from his suffering. These are the glories that will follow.

First, he will see his descendants. We rarely get to do that. I have lived long enough to see my grandchildren. I like that! I have often thought of the little prayer based on Psalm 128:6, “May you live to see your grandchildren playing at your feet.” That happened to me earlier today when I sat in a chair in our den and watched Eli and Knox (who are two and three years old, respectively) play together. They had little plastic pirate swords and Eli wore a red bandana. We all laughed as they ran through the house with those little plastic swords. Later Penny (who is one) sat on my lap and I sang “Itsy-Bitsy Spider” to her. And I held Violet (who is six months old) and watched her smile as she unsteadily stood up on my lap while I held her arms. It is a wonderful privilege. I know that I may not live long enough to see my great-grandchildren. In the normal course of things, I certainly won’t live to see my great-great-grandchildren. I wish I could, but I doubt I’ll live to be 110 or whatever it would take for that to happen.

But Jesus saw his descendants.

Mortal men live and die and never see their descendants beyond a generation or two. But Jesus, because he is the eternal Son of God, lives forever. 

Second, he will prolong his days. How can that be? I have already mentioned that I am writing this sermon on Good Friday. Earlier today I ran across this quote from Bob Goff:

"Darkness fell, His friends scattered, hope seemed lost - But heaven just started counting to three."

Someone wrote underneath that Facebook status: “Three, two, one—Resurrection!” Good Friday was not the end of the story. God was not defeated. Jesus will rise from the dead, never to die again. He will prolong his days forever. As Jesus said to John on the Isle of Patmos:

“I died, and behold I am alive forevermore” (Revelation 1:18).

Third, the will of the Lord will prosper in his hand. God has designed a great work for him to do. God has ordained that his Son will be the means by which a vast multitude will be saved. He is even now leading many sons to glory. Here’s a simple statement from Tony Evans that captures the meaning of this phrase:

Jesus didn't say, "I am finished." He said, "It is finished." He was just getting started.

That’s exactly right. His death was not the end of the story. Jesus was just getting started.

II. He Will Be Satisfied

“After he has suffered,
    he will see the light of life and be satisfied;
by his knowledge my righteous servant will justify many,
    and he will bear their iniquities” (v. 11).

First, he suffers.
Then he sees.
Then he is satisfied.

Suppose we ask the question this way:

What could possibly justify the terrible suffering that Jesus endured on the cross? By that I mean not just the physical suffering (which was nothing less than brutal torture), but also the emotional pain that caused him to pray in agony that the “cup” of suffering might be removed from him, and the unrelenting pressure of knowing beforehand what was about to transpire, and the burden of bearing the sins of the world. Consider these words from a hymn by Ann Ross Cundell Cousin:

O Christ, what burdens bowed Thy Head!
Our load was laid on Thee;
Thou stoodest in the sinner's stead--
Didst bear all ill for me.

Isaiah has already told us that it pleased the Father to crush his own Son, a thought that in itself seems amazing. Even if we don’t fully understand it, we certainly can ask some questions:

Why would God do such a thing to his Son?
Why would the Son willingly submit to it?

Isaiah 53:11 tells us that after his suffering, the Servant would see “the light of life,” meaning that he would be raised from the dead. And he will be satisfied.

If we take this phrase and put it in words that Jesus might have said, it looks something like this:

“I want the joy of seeing my Father’s house in heaven filled with his redeemed children. Therefore, I am willing to suffer the pain and shame of a brutal death on the cross. I am fully satisfied with my Father’s plan.”

We know this must be the meaning because the last part of verse 11 explains the source of his satisfaction: “My righteous servant will justify many, and he will bear their iniquities.” May I ask you a very personal question?

Have you ever been justified?
Have you been put in a right standing with the Lord?
Have your sins been washed away by the blood of Jesus?

Michael Bloomberg, the former mayor of New York, said this in a recent interview: 

“I am telling you if there is a God, when I get to heaven I’m not stopping to be interviewed. I am heading straight in. I have earned my place in heaven. It’s not even close.”

Mr. Bloomberg may be a billionaire, but he is clueless about going to heaven.He’s only right about one thing: “It’s not even close.” He’s not as good as he thinks he is, and he’s a much greater sinner than he has imagined. But he speaks for many modern types who think they can earn their way into heaven.
           
Wrong.

The only way to heaven is to admit you don’t deserve to go there, and to confess that because of your sin you deserve hell, and to cast yourself on the mercy of Jesus who loved you and died for you and paid the price for your sin when he died on the cross.

So let me ask it this way:

Are you following the Bloomberg Plan or the Jesus Plan?
You can’t follow them both.

There is one final piece of the puzzle that explains the true meaning of Good Friday.

III. He Will Be Rewarded

“Therefore I will give him a portion among the great,
    and he will divide the spoils with the strong,
because he poured out his life unto death,
    and was numbered with the transgressors.
For he bore the sin of many,
    and made intercession for the transgressors” (v. 12).

With these words Isaiah comes full circle. He started by declaring that the servant would be exalted in spite of his suffering (52:13-15). Now he declares that the servant will be exalted because of his suffering. Using military terminology, he says that Jesus will divide the spoils of victory. Like a soldier returning triumphant from the field of battle, Christ receives the highest glory. Thomas Kelly pictures it this way:

The head that once was crowned with thorns
Is crowned with glory now;
A royal diadem adorns
The mighty Victor’s brow.

Jesus won the victory precisely because he was obedient to the Father’s will and offered himself on the cross. Isaiah says it four different ways:

“He poured out his life unto death.” 
“He was numbered with the transgressors.”
“He bore the sin of many.” 
“He made intercession for the transgressors.” 

Isaiah says that Jesus will divide the spoil with “the strong.” Who is he talking about? He means that since Jesus is the Captain of our Salvation, he will divide the spoils of victory with all those who follow him.

Let me illustrate. Think for a moment about the famous story of David and Goliath. Why did those two men fight a one-on-one battle? The answer is simple. Each man represented his own army.

David fought for Israel.
Goliath fought for the Philistines.

When David won, the whole army won with him. When the Philistines were routed, the men of Israel chased them back where they came from. Then 1 Samuel 17:53 adds this detail:

The people of Israel came back from chasing the Philistines, and they plundered their camp.

David won the battle, but the Israelites shared the spoils of victory.

It’s the same with Jesus and us.
When he wins, we win.

That doesn’t mean we deserve it. We don’t.
When he was numbered with the transgressors, he was numbered with us.
When he bore the sin of many, he was bearing our sin.
When he was appointed a grave with the wicked, he was buried in our grave.

That’s what makes all this so amazing. Christ the Victor has willingly shared his victory with us. Here is the ultimate good news for those who believe in Jesus. He has returned victorious from the ultimate contest.

The devil could not stop him,
The cross could not defeat him,
The grave could not hold him.

Having subdued all his enemies, he marches in triumph, the Undefeated Sovereign and the Ultimate Victor. No one can stand against him.

He has attained the highest place in the universe by virtue of his suffering. He did not come to this place by founding a new movement (though he did), or by force of his oratory (which was magnificent), or by his miracles (which were amazing), and not even by the brilliance of his teaching (which was undeniable). Think about this. He came to the highest place by taking the lowest position. Isaiah says in his own way what Paul will write to the Philippians over 700 years later.

Christ became “obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross” (Philippians 2:8). It is only in light of that truth, and because of that truth, and as a result of that truth, that God has highly exalted his Son to the very highest point in the universe so that one day every knee will bow and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father (see Philippians 2:9-11).

First he suffers.
Then he is exalted.

God is not done finished exalting his Son.
He will one day return to the world that rejected him.
He will one day reign on the earth where he was crucified.

In 1851 a clergyman named Matthew Bridges wrote a few verses that later became the much-loved hymn Crown Him With Many Crowns. In 1874 Godfrey Thring added more verses. The hymn we sing today is a combination of verses by both men. The hymn surveys the life, death and resurrection of the Lord. The last verse, which looks to the future when Christ will reign over all the earth, sums up the triumphant final stanza of Isaiah 53.

Crown Him the Lord of years, the Potentate of time,
Creator of the rolling spheres, ineffably sublime.
All hail, Redeemer, hail! For Thou has died for me;
Thy praise and glory shall not fail throughout eternity.

What a Christ!
What a salvation!
Glory to his name forever!

Happiest Easter ever to you all,
Because HE IS RISEN!
Ted

Becoming Real

Have you ever felt like a Christian poser. You know the right things to do and the right way to be, but the thing you would do to honor Christ you do not! You feel like beating your head against the wall to knock some sense into yourself, especially when it comes to learning to love others. Did you know that even the apostle Paul had a problem with doing the right thing?

Romans 7:14 For we know that the law is spiritual, but I am of the flesh, sold under sin. 15 For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate. 16 Now if I do what I do not want, I agree with the law, that it is good. 17 So now it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me. 18 For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out.19 For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing. 20 Now if I do what I do not want, it is no longer I who do it, but sin that dwells within me.

21 So I find it to be a law that when I want to do right, evil lies close at hand. 22 For I delight in the law of God, in my inner being, 23 but I see in my members another law waging war against the law of my mind and making me captive to the law of sin that dwells in my members. 24 Wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?25 Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, I myself serve the law of God with my mind, but with my flesh I serve the law of sin.

This book, The Velveteen Rabbit I read to my children when they were small brought home the importance of being real with God and those around us. I recommend the book to every Christian who feels like a poser. Here is excerpt from the book:

What is REAL?” asked the Rabbit one day. “Does it mean having things that buzz inside you and a stick-out handle?” “Real isn’t how you are made,” said the Skin Horse.  “It’s a thing that happens to you.  When a child loves you for a long, long time, not just to play with, but REALLY loves you, then you become Real.”  “Does it hurt?” asked the Rabbit.  “Sometimes,” said the Skin Horse, for he was always truthful. “When you are Real you don’t mind being hurt.”  “Does it happen all at once, like being wound up,” he asked, “or bit by bit?”  “It doesn’t happen all at once,” said the Skin Horse.  “You become. It takes a long time.  That’s why it doesn’t often happen to people who break easily, or have sharp edges, or who have to be carefully kept.  Generally, by the time you are Real, most of your hair has been loved off, and your eyes drop out and you get loose in the joints and very shabby.  But these things don’t matter at all, because once you are Real you can’t be ugly, except to people who don’t understand.”

When I close my eyes to wonder and meditate on what the expression on Jesus’ face must have looked like as he agonized up the ‘via doloroso,’ his shoulders overwhelmed by the wood of the cross and the weight of the world’s pride like the shoulders of a homeless man, I come face to face with real love.  As the blood from the crown of thorns begins to blur his vision, he stumbles.  And then He slowly rises again.  The scene here isn’t clean and organized, it isn’t systematized or logical.  It’s violent, it’s shocking and it’s real.

Whenever you encounter and receive real, unconditional love from another, like a planted and watered seed under the sun, it cannot help but give birth (often painfully) to a new realm of personal freedom and expression.  This new freedom is what allows us to become our true selves, to express ourselves without the fear of judgment, rejection or ridicule from others.  Finally, we are then free to love others with that same unconditional love, thereby helping set others free from the very chains with which we were once enslaved.  Unfortunately, this unbridled expression of true freedom can often cause friction or even alienation from those who have yet to recognize their own delusion of self-righteousness, lack of forgiveness, and coldness from the invisible prison in which they live, as they become jealous of your joy and envious of your freedom.

See you next blog,
Ted

A qualifier:  This does not mean for those who are abused by their covenant partners in marriage that they must stay within the confines of an physically or emotionally abusive relationship. That is an entirely different matter and is covered in other blogs I have done previously. God never intended for you to tolerate the abuse of your mate!

10 Things Happy Couples Do Differently

2 Corinthians 6:14-18 ESV 

Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness? Or what fellowship has light with darkness? What accord has Christ with Belial? Or what portion does a believer share with an unbeliever? What agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; as God said, “I will make my dwelling among them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore go out from their midst, and be separate from them, says the Lord, and touch no unclean thing; then I will welcome you, and I will be a father to you, and you shall be sons and daughters to me, says the Lord Almighty.”

The worst nightmare imaginable is for a real believer to be yoked to a pretender! They may or may not go to church, but three things you can count on: 

You will never have a daily prayer partner 

They will not be someone to read the Bible with daily

They will not be someone who encourages you daily in your walk with Christ. 

A word to the wise...THERE ARE TONS OF PRETENDERS OUT THERE-CHOOSE WISELY!

The following is a secularized version of what I believe constitutes a successful marriage from Mark and Angel Chernoff:

Marc and Angel Hack Life

http://www.marcandangel.com/2013/09/12/10-things-happy-couples-do-differently/

 

“For the two of us, home isn’t a place.  It is a person.
And we are finally home.”
―Stephanie Perkins

All intimate relationships are built on a foundation of honesty, trust, and attraction, but what do happy couples do differently to keep their love thriving in the long run?

It’s important to understand that love is not just about finding the right person, it’s about working with them to create the right relationship.  Marc and I have met and worked with couples at all ends of the spectrum over the years, and we’ve found that the happiest couples, or the unhappy couples who successfully turn things around, are able to create loving, lasting relationships by doing the following:

1.  They make plenty of time for each other.

Neglect based on lack of attention damages relationships far more often than malicious abuse.  There’s nothing more vital to the bond you share with someone than simply being there for them.  Too often we underestimate the power of a thoughtful question and a listening ear that’s fully present and focused.  Although it’s a simple act, it may very well be the most powerful act of caring – one which has the potential to turn a relationship around.

When we pay attention to each other we breathe new life into each other.  With frequent attention and affection our relationships flourish, and we as individuals grow stronger.  This is the side effect of a good relationship – we help heal each other’s wounds and support each other’s strengths.

Bottom line:  Stay in close touch with what’s going on in your partner’s life – communicate openly on a regular basis.  Not because it’s convenient, but because they are worth the extra effort.

2.  They don’t beat around the bush.

No matter how sure you are of someone’s love, it’s always nice to be reminded of it.  When you truly love someone, be loving in words and deeds every single day.  Don’t beat around the bush.  Be straightforward.

If you appreciate someone today, tell them.  If you adore someone today, show them.  Hearts are often confused and broken by thoughtful words left unspoken and loving deeds left undone.  There might not be a tomorrow.  Today is the day to express your love and admiration.  (Read 1,000 Little Things Happy, Successful People Do Differently.)

3.  They meet in the middle and work together.

The most important trip you will ever take in life is meeting your partner half way.  You will achieve far more by working with them, rather than working alone or against them.  That’s what healthy relationships are all about – teamwork.  It really is a full circle.  The strength of a relationship depends on the strength of its two members, and the strength of each member in the long run depends on the quality of the relationship.

Anyone who helps you to make your half-hearted attempts more whole-hearted through passion, love and teamwork, is a precious friend and teacher, and thus makes a great partner.  Take the lead and BE this partner.  Make an effort to work closely with your significant other, and conquer the world together.

4.  Their actions consistently backup their claims of love.

Actions often speak much louder than words.  When you love someone you have to act accordingly.  They will be able to tell how you feel about them simply by the way you treat them over the long-term.

You can say sorry a thousand times, or say “I love you” as much as you want, but if you’re not going to prove that the things you say are true, they aren’t.  If you can’t show it, your words are not sincere.

And remember, it’s not so much about how much you do for your loved ones as it is about the love you put into what you do for them.  Learn what matters most to them and make a habit of it.

5.  They respect each other’s humanness.

All humans are imperfect.  At times, the confident lose confidence, the patient misplace their patience, the generous act selfish, and the knowledgeable second guess what they know.

And guess what?  You’re human and so is your partner.  In fact, we all are.  We make mistakes, we lose our tempers, and we get caught off guard.  We stumble, we slip, and we spin out of control sometimes.

But that’s the worst of it; we all have our moments.  Most of the time we’re remarkable.  So stand beside the people you love through their trying times of imperfection, and offer yourself the same courtesy; if you aren’t willing to, you don’t deserve to be around for the perfect moments either.  (Read The Mastery of Love.)

6.  They focus on what they like about each other.

What you focus on grows stronger in your relationships.  When you focus on a person’s wonderful qualities, you have a wonderful relationship with them.  When you focus on a person’s not so wonderful qualities, you have a not so wonderful relationship with them.  When you focus on benefits of a situation, you get to take advantage of them.  When you focus on the drawbacks, you gain nothing but a frown.

The bottom line is that you see only what you want to see, and what you see determines the health of your relationships.  Your attitude is a little thing that makes a massive difference.  Don’t be the stubborn one who makes it a point to not see the good in your partner.

7.  There is far more between them than physical attraction.

Infatuating yourself with someone simply for what they look like on the outside is like choosing your favorite food based on color instead of taste.  It makes no sense.  It’s innate, invisible, unquantifiable characteristics that create lasting attraction.  There must be common ground in your interests and outlooks on life.

Just as some people enjoy the smell of mint, while others prefer the scent of cinnamon, there is an undeniable, magnetic draw that attracts you to the qualities of certain people, places, and things.  Sometimes it’s even the scars your soul shares with them that reels you in and creates the very hinges that hold you together in the long run.

8.  They resolve conflicts through love, not retaliation.

If you’re disappointed with yourself or frustrated with your partner, the answer is not to take it out on the world around you.  Retribution, whether it’s focused on yourself or others, brings zero value into your life.  The way beyond the pain from the past is not with vengeance, mockery, bullying or retaliation, but with present love.

Forgive the past, forgive yourself, forgive your partner, and love the present moment for what it’s worth.  There are plenty of beautiful things to love right now; you just have to want to see them.  Loving is never easy, especially when times are tough, yet it is easily the most powerful and positively enduring action possible.

9.  They open up to each other, especially in trying times.

Let your partner in when you’re in a dark place.  Open up to them completely.  Don’t expect them to solve your problems; just allow them to face your problems with you.  Give them permission to stand beside you.  They won’t necessarily be able to pull you out of the dark place you’re in, but the light that spills in when they enter will at least show you which way the door is.

Above all, the important thing to remember is that you are not alone.  No matter how bizarre or embarrassed or pathetic you feel about your own situation, your partner is in your life and has dealt with similar emotions and wants to help you.  When you hear yourself say, “I am alone,” it’s just your insecurities trying to sell you a lie.  (Read Daring Greatly.)

10.  They are committed to growing together.

It’s not about finding someone to lose yourself in, it’s about meeting someone to find yourself in.  When you connect with someone special, especially a lifelong partner, this person helps you find the best in yourself.  In this way, neither of you actually meet the best in each other; you both grow into your best selves by spending time together and nurturing each other’s growth.

When you honestly think about what you and your partner add to each other’s lives, you will often find that instead of giving or taking things from each other (advice, answers, material gifts, etc.), you two have chosen rather to share in each other’s joy and pain, and experience life together through good times and bad.  No matter what, you two are there for one another, growing and learning as one.

Afterthoughts

The best relationships are not just about the good times you share, they’re also about the obstacles you go through together(that means including your partner in your trials), and the fact that you still say “I love you” in the end.  And loving someone isn’t just about saying it every day, it’s showing it every day in every way.

See you next blog,

Ted

Success Is Found Through God

No matter how old one is, where you live, or what you do, everyone wants their life to be successful. 

Some desire success for all the wrong reasons:

1.) To acquire more things, more fame, more power, more money than anyone else (an attitude of he who dies with the most toys wins)

2.) To draw attention to themselves and their accomplishments 

3.) To prove themselves better than someone else

However there is a right way to view success and achieve it!

Identify your passions. Before you can achieve success, you will have to define what success means to you. While it may take years to realize what you want to do with your life, identifying your passions, interests, and values will help you set goals and give your life a sense of meaning. Ask yourself the following questions:

1.) Does what I want to do or be glorify God or me?

2.) What are your subjects of interest?

3.) Does the success you want set the right example for those of your household?

4.) What do you want your legacy to be-how will it help others?

5.) How would you like to be remembered by others?

6.) Will it help your community be a better place to be?

Trust that God Wants You To Succeed If Your Values Are Aligned With His

Jeremiah 29:11 ESV / 

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.

Success is not elusive to those who go after it with the right attitude!

The first factor is understand that our Heavenly Father desires us to live a successful life. While that may not entail riches, however it does mean that we know who we are in Him and that we trust His plans for us.

The second strongest factor in being successful is self-esteem: Believing that we can be and that we deserve to be successful is important. 

Live purposefully. In order to achieve your dreams and be the person you want to be. You will have to start paying attention to your actions. Ask yourself, is what I'm doing with my life going to lead me to where I want to be in life?

• If you find yourself constantly bored, daydreaming about the future or past or counting down the minutes until the day ends, it is probably because you feel disconnected from what you're doing, or what your doing is wasteful.
• Cherish your time. Watching a lot of television, texting all day, talking on the phone constantly with friends or family, or just daydreaming will not get you where you want to be. Just talking success doesn't get it done. Time wasted can never be regained. It comes fresh to us every second of every minute and gives up opportunity to do and be our best self.
• Remember that the concept of "wasted time" is relative. Not everything you do has to be productive in the conventional sense, but it should be engaging, enjoyable, and produce good results in us and those around us.

Psalm 84:
11For the LORD God is a sun and shield;
the LORD bestows favor and honor.
No good thing does he withhold
from those who walk uprightly.
12O LORD of hosts,
blessed is the one who trusts in you!

See you next blog,

Ted

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Leaving Your Abusive Spouse Can Save Your Life!

No this isn't GODLY PERMISSION to leave your spouse because you have some marital issues. ABUSE IS NOT AN ISSUE, IT IS A CRIME!

Not too long ago I read a story about a woman finally freed from an abusive situation whose denomination forbade a wife to leave her physically or emotionally abusive husband. Her name was Diana and maybe one day I will get a chance to interview her on a blog. She had been in an abusive marriage for 25 years. As a teen she had chosen an abusive boyfriend who dominated her all through high school. He was killed in Vietnam, freeing her from that monster! Even long-distance he had controlled her every movement. His brother attempted to take over the relationship, but Diana was having none of it. She married a loving man and the marriage lasted for three years. He was killed by a drunk driver one night. Devastated, she had decided marriage wasn't for her. After moving to California she somehow fell in with a cult group called the Children of God (http://www.christiananswers.net/q-aiia/aiia-top10cults.html)  run by a sexual pervert named David Berg (now deceased). Even though she was working in a very conservative environment, had been attending a Presbyterian church, and was financially stable, she left it behind to follow this very charismatic maniac and his followers. She was given a new name, had an arranged very abusive marriage physically, mentally, and sexually, and mothered a very dysfunctional family. She became so sick physically over a period of time she finally sought a physician who happened to be a real Christian. He helped her seek wise counseling and over the next three years she finally left her abusive husband. Her children, one girl and two boys, were old enough to decided where they wanted to live, opting to stay with the abusive father out of fear, but one of her sons has left to live with Diana and her new husband. "Life is finally the way I always pictured it to be. Yes there are bad days and I am still physically and mentally taxed, but I am alive. I am loved by my God and my husband and growing stronger every day. Most of all I am loving my new life."

The point of this story is this. It is not wise or your Christian duty to stay in abuse whether physical, emotional or sexual. While it is possible, though rarely probable, that you can eventually bring a loving, unbelieving spouse to salvation, you can ALMOST NEVER BRING AN ABUSER TO TRUE SALVATION! The reason is that most abusers are Malignant Narcissists and worship only themselves in reality. Many of them attend church (usually a man-centered abuse church) and are aware of scripture and use it against their spouses to guilt them into doing their bidding. Everything revolves around their wishes and wants, even though they accuse their spouses of being selfish because they want better treatment. God help you if you ever call them down for the evil they do. You will never hear the end of it, or you will be held in contempt, or worse, you will have earned a beating. While all of us have some small bit of Narcissism in us because we want to look and be our best, true Narcissism is a sickness of the mind that can rarely change. Even those who submit to counseling rarely work it through as they believe they know more than the counselor what they need...sex! Sex to a Malignant Narcissist is love. Perhaps the most tragic thing about being joined with an abuser, is that if you have children with them and remain, the children take on many of those same traits and become abusive and foolish themselves. 

It is hard for an abused person to understand they are abused after a long period of pain. They seem to accept that this is their lot in life and learn to accept the cycle of abuse as normal. However, the damage abuse inflicts is catastrophic on the human mind and body. Self-doubt and anxiety attacks are a precursor to more terribly worse symptoms of disease. Heart disease and even cancer can occur because of abuse. 

Many physicians now agree that the cancer gene resident in our DNA in most of us can be activated by emotional, sexual, or physical abuse. It is called Intimate Partner Violence, IPV, and the effects of abuse are real! The violence can be verbal, physical, or sexual.
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/23808669

The following article comes from the book, Beloved Unbeliever, which is originally written to women with spouses who are unbelievers. However, the principles outlined in this article, in reality, apply to every spouse in an abusive situation. So whether your spouse professes a relationship with Jesus Christ or not, please prayerfully read and consider what the author Jo Berry has to say, as it pertains to your marriage.

She begins this portion of the book by citing the scriptures in 1 Corinthians 7:15 explaining that letting the spouse “leave” goes beyond physically leaving the marriage. As you read the article you’ll better understand what she means by this:

But if the unbeliever leaves, let him do so. A believing man or woman is not bound in such circumstances; God has called us to live in peace.  (1 Corinthians 7:15)

Rather than demanding that an unequally yoked wife stay in a situation where she is abused, defamed, and oppressed; where she is tortured by the temptations that such mistreatment put in her path, our precious Lord gives her an option. He does this because, “Just as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him. For He Himself knows our frame; He is mindful that we are but dust“ (Psalm 103:13-14). He understands her humanity and takes pity on her.

LEAVING IS MORE THAN WALKING OUT THE DOOR 
A Christian woman who is facing emotional or physical abuse needs to understand both the terminology and the implications in this verse, so she can act on it within the dictates of her own common sense and conscience. The word “leave,” as it is used in 1 Corinthians 7:15, means to depart or let go. While this most obviously refers to a physical separation, the concept of letting go embodies more than mere physical absence.

Since thought always precedes action, I believe we can assume that abuse and cruelty are outward manifestations reflecting a mental state of abandonment of the essence of the marriage. So, although Paul is dealing with physical separation, certainly there can also be a psychological severing, an emotional letting go, that is just as devastating and real as a mate’s actual departure.

Scripture does not deal specifically with this problem of abuse, but Christ’s attitude and certain biblical statements can help us draw conclusions about how to respond to it. The Gospels are saturated with statements about and examples of Jesus’ compassion. He was especially tender toward women and children. Think of how gently He approached the woman at the well; how respectful He was to the woman caught in adultery; how He met Mary’s needs by teaching her as she sat at His feet; how, during excruciating agony on the cross, He committed His mother to the care of His friend, John.

In the fifth chapter of Ephesians, the apostle Paul commanded husbands to “love [their] wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her” (Ephesians 5:25) and to “love their own wives as their own bodies“ (Ephesians 5:28). Christ, in love, sacrificed His life for the church. This example is the antithesis of abuse.

It appears, according to scripture then, that any man that constantly mistreats and maligns his wife, who wounds her psychologically and/or physically, has “let go” and departed from the intent of his marriage vows. He has become an infidel. He may be living under the same roof and sleeping in the same bed with her, but if he neglects her needs and destroys her as a person by attacking her body, soul, or spirit, mentally he has left! If he is cold, cruel, and uncaring, he has already separated himself from her, even if he shares a house with her. In his sick mind, the relationship is over.

The idea of leaving, then, can legitimately include the unbelieving husband mentally and/or emotionally abandoning his wife. The final act of “leaving” may mean he will physically remove himself, but the psychological process leading up to that moment may manifest itself in ongoing abusive conduct.

The Bible says that when this happens a Christian wife is to let him leave. The Lord does not expect or want her to suffer mental or bodily harm at the hands of a husband who is supposed to sacrificially love her. God does not want her to be oppressed or incapacitated by fear. Quite the contrary, “the sister is not under bondage in such cases“ (1 Corinthians 7:15), and any woman who is physically harmed or verbally belittled, insulted, or harassed by her husband is under bondage. Any wife whose husband controls her mind and activities with threats or brutality is enslaving her.

In this same chapter, Paul reminds us, “You were bought with a price; do not become slaves of men“(1 Corinthians 7:23). God did not buy an unequally yoked wife out of the slave market of sin so she could be under bondage to another human being. He purchased her with the blood of Christ and freed her so she could voluntarily become His bond-servant.

She has to draw the line if her husband consistently oppresses her, by whatever means. In Luke 14:26, Jesus said, “If anyone comes to Me, and does not hate[the comparison of her love for Me, her]own father and mother and[husband] and children and brothers and sisters, yes, even[her] own life,[she] cannot be my disciple.“ She has the right and responsibility to choose freedom impossible for her to fulfill her Christian calling.

We have already seen that submission is voluntarily choosing to yield or surrender to someone. When God instructs wives to subject themselves to their husbands, He is asking them to surrender to their husbands’ love and God-given position. Nowhere does Scripture imply that the Lord expects a wife to accede to verbal castigation or physical assault.

Many times women who are in this position convince themselves that they would be unsubmissive if they fled. So, instead of retreating and protecting themselves and their children (who may be scarred for life from exposure to continual abuse), they become passive; but passivity is not the same as submission. Whereas submission is voluntary, passivity is forced oppression. Whereas submission allows for individual dignity, passivity breeds self-hatred, and eventually a wife who subjects herself to abuse starts believing that she deserves it!

She convinces herself there is no way out and that she is only getting what she has coming to her. This is especially pronounced in cases where Christian women knowingly married unbelievers. Frequently they stay to punish themselves, to pay the penalty for their sin. Their attitude is: I got myself into this, now I’m stuck with it. So, they become passive. It is vitally important that a woman who suffers maltreatment in her marriage draw the distinction between submission and passivity.

Also, some women stay because of guilt. They believe that their faith in Christ is the reason for their husband’s abusiveness, so they think that staying is a cross they must bear —part of their suffering for Christ. They need to realize that there is an immense difference between being persecuted for the Lord and for righteousness’ sake, and being physically or emotionally abused by a man who is a tyrant.

Although, an unbelieving husband might use his wife’s faith as an excuse for attacking her, that is not the real reason. Men who batter or consistently demean their wives are emotionally ill. The emotionally yoked wife who is being vilified by her husband does not have to submit to his tirades. God does not ask her to yield to outrageous attacks.

Sometimes a Christian woman who is being harmed by her mate stays because she believes that the Lord will protect her no matter what her husband does. Candy thought that, until Glen shot her. Eleanor thought that, until Ed fractured her back and skull when he threw her down the stairs. Emily thought that, until Howard burned down their house when he was spaced out on pot and booze and fell asleep on the sofa with a lighted cigarette in his band. Their three-month-old daughter suffered severe burns over 30% of her body and was in the hospital for months. Claudia thought that, until she had a mental breakdown. Her children had to be put in foster homes while she recovered because the court ruled that her husband was not a fit father.

If there are children involved, the repercussions of living under such disparaging conditions can leave them with lifelong scars. Scripture teaches the importance of example. We are warned not to associate with fools, liars, fornicators, idolaters, blasphemers, or hot-tempered people, because if we do we will imitate their behavior or suffer at their hand. Statistics show that many parents who are child abusers and many men who batter their wives were themselves mistreated as children, or came from homes where one or both parents were abusive. Like begets like. Removing herself and her children from danger isn’t selfish, isn’t sinful, isn’t unsubmissive —it’s smart.

God hasn't called the wife to live in a spirit of fear and mental instability but of “power, and of love, and of a sound mind“ (2 Timothy 1:7 KJV). He hasn't chosen her to live in a state of confusion, not knowing what to say or do next, or what tirades her well-intentioned responses might bring. “God is not a God of confusion but of peace“ (1 Corinthians 14:33) and “has called [her] peace“ (1 Corinthians 7:15).

The above article comes from the terrific book, Beloved Unbeliever: Loving Your Husband into the Faith by Jo Berry, published by Zondervan Publishing House. This book could truly help those who are married to unbelieving spouses. Jo knew what it was like to live with an unbelieving spouse and also interviewed dozens of women who are married to unbelievers. In this book they share the greatest difficulties they encounter(ed) and practical ways to handle the problems.

http://marriagemissions.com/leaving-your-spouse-because-of-abuse/

I highly recommend to any woman that if you feel you are being abused please look at these videos:
http://verbalabusejournals.com/about-abuse/verbal-abuse-videos/

See you next blog,

Ted